


Untouched

by YoungSoon



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Demons, Developing Relationship, Domestic, Domestic Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, Incubus San, LAST CHAPTER emotional smut, M/M, Mutual Pining, Roommates, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, incubus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-17
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 12:31:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 31,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22773562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YoungSoon/pseuds/YoungSoon
Summary: Starting a new life is not easy whether you are moving to a new city or a new dimension; whether you are starting college or desperately want to be human. There is something similar in all of that.
Relationships: Choi San/Jeong Yunho
Comments: 85
Kudos: 282





	1. ~ I ~

The climb up to the third floor gets Yunho a bit out of breath, but perhaps going two steps at a time is not a wise idea. It probably is especially bad in a situation where he has just jolted from the bus stop on the opposite side of the street straight to the door of the house to avoid getting too soaked in the sudden downpour. That comes with little success, his hair dripping wet, but it could have been worse. Nevertheless, he is now standing in front of apartment number 319 on the third floor of an older apartment house, and his hand is raised to knock on the deep brown door. This is the third apartment he is visiting today, and he wishes this could be the last one too.

Going to a new city to study is not easy at all as it changes one’s whole life pattern; however, getting used to dorm life proved to be even more difficult. Parties, alcohol, drugs, and endless one-night stands that polluted the atmosphere were too much for Yunho. He is no prude, but he also loves sleeping, playing his video games, and doing assignments on time. With his scholarship, dorm money from parents, and the part-time salary, he could afford something much better. After two months of constant discomfort, he has finally made the decision to move. However, finding an affordable and decent place that doesn’t creep him out or isn’t already trashed is a monstrous task. For now, this is his final chance.

He finally knocks on the door, as his breathing calms down, and waits. For a moment, there is no response, so he knocks again. He checks the conversation with the man renting a room on his phone one more time to make sure this is the right place and the right time to come. Everything seems to be correct, so he is about to knock again when the door opens, and just for a second, maybe a bit longer, his breathing speeds up again, and he wishes the door would have remained shut. The most stunning view is before him, and he is definitely going into ‘gay panic’ which he didn’t expect.

A man, definitely around Yunho’s age but quite a bit shorter than Yunho himself, stands before him. His hair looks pitch black, wet, and slicked back from his face revealing sharp cheekbones, pointy yet rounded nose, dainty but full lips, and the most gorgeous, starry night-dark eyes. The wet hair drips onto the man’s bare torso, rolling over each defined line of muscles from his pecks down to his abs, over his carved arms to the towel he is loosely holding around his lower half a bit too low for the first meeting. Black ink covers the light skin right above his hip-bones, on his shoulders and collarbones, arms and probably somewhere more in various intricate and detail patterns in rich black. Rows of silver earring Yunho has no concentration to count now cover his ears. Heavy guitar-based music playing in the background creates the oddest day-time fantasy now vividly living in Yunho’s head.

“Yeah?” the man asks in a somewhat soft yet still manly voice, and just for a second, Yunho doesn’t know what to say. He stares wide-eyed before he realizes it is not entirely polite.

“Hi! Um… We agreed I would see the available room today?” he manages to speak, and the man’s eyes got big for a second just like Yunho’s did a second ago.

“Oh shit! That’s today?” he looks genuinely shocked to the point he almost lets go of his towel, and Yunho is very close to a cardiac arrest as the man’s hand twitches, and he is ready to reach out and keep it in place himself. “Come in! Please!” the man seems to gather himself much faster than flustered Yunho and steps away from the door to let the taller man in. “I will be right back,” he excuses himself as soon as the front door falls shut and quickly makes his way across the large open living room space, his bare feet making sound on the floor. Yunho’s eyes are betraying him and follow the man. As Yunho predicted, there are tattoos on the man’s back too, and only now he gets that the details on his hips and collarbones were the ends of large, bat, or even dragon wings, with countless small details, wrapping around him. An impressive work of art on such a rather small man.

“Wow,” he lets out silently, not being sure what exactly is he admiring - the man or the tattoo - and finally takes a deep, relaxed breath and looks around. He takes off his wet shoes and his coat, hanging it on his elbow, hoping he isn’t dripping too bad from the rain.

The living room is connected with the kitchen, almost like a studio apartment. A large, asphalt grey couch with a couple of pillows separates the two spaces. The window is oddly on the kitchen side, covered by deep blue blinds, matching the kitchen set up - from cabinets to the fridge, the grey metal sink standing out. There are a few wrappers here and there, a half-eaten apple and a mug next to it, but nothing one could not live with. There’s a TV on the wall in front of the couch, a shelf on the left of it with a sound system that is currently playing something Yunho vaguely recognizes as My Chemical Romance and neat piles of CDs next to it. A lonely ivy plant sits at the very top of the shelf, its vines reaching the very floor. It’s an odd spark of green in the rather muted - brown, black, and grey - but it brings a sense of home to it.

“I am so sorry. I completely forgot,” the man returns from the small hallway opposite the front door much more dressed than before. He’s stepped into black slacks, noticeably either too long for him or they are too low on his waist and pulled on a matching plain black t-shirt as well. He is still barefoot, his hair dripping onto the shirt, but this look is much easier to take than the one before and sets Yunho in less of an inner frenzy even though the man is still incredibly attractive. When was even the last time Yunho had been this instantly smitten for someone? The answer is - never. He is not the type to instantly fall for someone and just because of looks, but here he is.

“Nice to meet you! I’m San,” the man smiles the most dazzling smile, dimples appearing in his cheeks, few untamed strands of hair falling over his forehead, and reaches out his hand for a greeting which Yunho accepts. The man’s hand disappears in Yunho’s, but the handshake is very strong and firm. It is almost scalding hot but in the most pleasant way possible.

“I’m Yunho,” he manages to reply and let go even though the touch is so pleasant. “So… the room?” he tries to instantly move the conversation towards why he is here and away from the panic he feels in his chest. It had been a while since he dated someone or even hooked up, studies taking priority, but this kind of reaction is highly over the top. He is well aware of that, but he can’t help it. Some meetings can be called destiny, and this feels like one.

“Of course!” San replies with a smile and turns around the same way he did before towards the hallway. It has two doors facing each other and a third one at the very end of it. “This is my room,” he starts by pointing to the door to the right and moves to the door at the end of the hall. “This is the bathroom,” he opens the door to a very standard room - a shower, a sink, a toilet, a few towels, and toiletries here and there -, kept very clean by the first glance. “And then this,” he takes a step back to the third door, “is the spare room,” he opens the door and walks in.

A single queen-sized bed stands in the middle of it - the frame and the mattress looking good. There is a wardrobe of beige wood, contrasting yet matching with almost pastel peach walls. There are also two sets of shelves, and everything seems to be in great condition. This is by far the best option had seen so far. Others could not even be called rooms in comparison to this.

“Is the price serious?” he turns to San, who has sat down on the bed while Yunho looks around. “Because it seems incredibly cheap,” he admits. He expected a wardrobe sized, nothing more than a bed fitting corner or a completely destroyed dumpster, and this is all but that.

“Well, I could offer someone to live here for free too, but I don’t think anyone would buy that,” San makes an adorable pouting thinking face, and Yunho bites his tongue not to blurt out something unnecessary. “Money is not an issue, honestly,” San continues and looks directly at Yunho, who is now frozen next to a shelf, his hand on it. “It’s just odd to have the room empty.”

“I think I’ll take this offer then,” Yunho speaks before he thinks, and it leaves both him and San shocked. Who even agrees to a deal so fast? “I mean… I saw other options for the same price, and they were quite horrible in comparison, so this is kind of perfect,” he looks around. “Unless you have someone else waiting to look or…”

“No. No one has applied,” San shakes his head. “Maybe they look at the address and think it’s a scam or that they will get kidnapped or something,” he stands up from the bed, and only then Yunho realizes how ridiculously trustworthy his small-town mentality has been this far. “You are welcome to move in whenever you want,” he adds.

“Wait… it’s that simple?” Yunho follows the shorter man out of the room to the living room.

“Yeah. There’s really nothing complicated about it,” San shrugs as he walks to the living room area where something reminding of Fall Out Boy hums from the speakers.

“No lease? No, nothing?” Yunho is right behind him now, being a bit worried. “Maybe you should be more careful? What if I am sort of sociopath and you could get into big trouble,” he knows he sounds too concerned for the man, but he can’t help it.

“Have you considered I could be the dangerous one?” San looks at him, his eyes piercing straight through Yunho for a second before returning to their previous soft look. “If either of us is crazy, I doubt a lease will help,” he smiles, and Yunho has to smile back as that’s true.

“You’ve got a the point. Then…” he thinks for a moment. “Then how about this weekend?” he offers. “My friend can lend a hand and his car to get my stuff here.” He could survive a few more days in the dorm, pack slowly and peacefully, hand in a notice he is moving out. 

“Sounds good to me,” San nods, and they remain standing awkwardly in the space between the kitchen and the living room.

“So… I will probably message you when we are nearing on Saturday. So it wouldn’t be a surprise,” Yunho scratches the back of his head, looking around one more time. In other places, he fled fast; here he doesn’t feel like leaving immediately.

“Of course!” San smiles and dimples appear in his cheeks yet again. The only coherent thought in Yunho’s mind is a blasphemous ‘Goddamnit, he is gorgeous’, and keeping his mouth shut is hard. Living here would probably make his existence very difficult but is probably very much worth it.

“Then see you Saturday,” he smiles back, and he could swear San returns the smile even brighter. The shorter two leads the few remaining steps to the door and stops, so suddenly, Yunho almost runs into him. He turns back, still very, very close to Yunho, and looks straight up at him. It’s as if he has noticed something just now, and his gaze is so intense Yunho’s heart speeds up in his chest.

“Wait here for a second,” he says suddenly and rushes past Yunho. He goes straight to the hallway and returns a moment later with a towel and a small umbrella in his hands. Quite skilfully, he throws the towel on Yunho’s head, and in a second, while it lands, is already in front of the taller man. 

“I think it’s still raining outside,” he smiles. “Would suck if my new flatmate got sick,” he continues, and Yunho can just look at him in awe, eyes wide, which makes the shorter man laugh. “Is it that odd?”

“Yeah…” Yunho breathes out before he even processes the thought. “I mean…” he tries to explain, but the loud laugh of the man before him stops him mid-sentence.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to freak you out with kindness,” he smiles, and Yunho is about to say something unnecessary stupid, but this time, he can control his verbal notes. “You can bring these back on Saturday,” San continues as he hands Yunho the umbrella.

“Definitely!” Yunho is now quick to reply and even ads a nod. San still has the warm, dimple blessed smile on his face as he steps aside, resting against the couch. Yunho doesn’t bother with the towel on his head, and instead, he places his coat and jacket down as he squats down to put on his shoes. He feels San’s eyes on him, but it does not feel odd - where else could he look. 

As he stands up and turns around, San is still looking at him with a very soft, barely-there smile. His hair is a bit of a tousled, still damp mess that falls freely over his forehead in messy strands. He has crossed his arms on his chest, and the barely wet fabric of the t-shirt sticks to him far too nicely.

“Till Saturday,” Yunho almost bows but stops himself, which only makes San smile brighter. He heads to the door, surprisingly remembering it is not locked, and turns around one more time to wave at San - receiving a wave back - and leaves. There are pleasant butterflies in his chest for yet another new beginning, but he feels it will be a very special one.

As soon as the front door closes, San free falls backward into the couch. His breathing is racing, his heart unable to stay still, and when he closes his eyes to calm down, he sees Yunho’s adorable, handsome puppy face before him, and it does not help. Maybe it is too soon to welcome someone into the home, perhaps he is not ready or maybe because that someone is exactly Yunho. But he has already committed, and he is determined to face this and prove to himself he can control those disgusting urges and live a normal life. At least he hoped for that. 

-

The weekend arrives much faster than Yunho expects. He doesn’t think he has properly breathed in when he is already loading bags from his dorm into Hongjoong’s car, his boyfriend - Seonghwa - helping. Both of them exchange looks as Yunho tells them the address they are heading to, but Yunho doesn’t pay much attention to that. Somehow and oddly enough, when looking at the rather tall, dark-haired man, he sees very distinguished traits that remind him of San, but he doesn’t let it bother him. The similar style - alternative as one could call it - is nothing that unique, so it is probably just his mind playing tricks. 

He messages San as they take a turn on the correct street, and as he does, the other two men in the car gasp silently and look at each other. “Could it really be, tho?” Seonghwa looks first at Hongjoong and then at Yunho but doesn’t say anything more. The giddy uneasiness between the two only grows as they stop in front of the apartment house. Yunho somehow gets out first and sees the two exchange looks, and then both look at Yunho.

“What?” he asks quite confused and looks at the two until a voice behind him makes him turn around.

“Hey! You are always so on time,” he sees San - in a similar outfit as the previous time only this time with matching black slides on - behind him.

“San!” Hongjoong suddenly yells behind Yunho, and the taller man almost jumps.

“Hongjoong? Wait…” San looks so confused he barely focuses on the man or anything for that matter, frantically looking for something until his eyes meet the other man getting out of the car. “Seonghwa!” he cheers and almost runs forward where the other man greets him with open arms. They lock each other in the tightest embrace, Seongwha’s hand gently resting on the back of San’s head as their foreheads meet, the tips of their noses touching. Just one movement and their lips would meet too as they share the oddly most precious Eskimo kisses. 

“How have you been, Sani? Is everything okay?” the taller of the two asks as they remain as close, his hands patting San’s head. “Are you feeling alright?” he continues. “Are you sure you are ready for this?” he whispers the last part, and San nods. His hands are holding onto Seonghwa’s middle tightly, disappearing under the black leather jacket the man is wearing.

“Yeah. I think it’s time. I want to handle this myself. That’s why I didn’t tell you,” San replies, and they rub their noses together again, and it’s almost magical, the sun peeking from the clouds play in their moving earrings and rings Seonghwa is wearing. How it hides in their dark hair that almost becomes one where their foreheads meet. The tight embrace they are still sharing is intimate without a doubt, and Yunho can just blink at the view a few times before looking at Hongjoong, who seems completely unbothered even though it’s his boyfriend and unloads the bags from the car.

“It’s probably not my business, but…” he tries to start a conversation, but Hongjoong looks at him a bit confused. “Is that… common?”

“Oh? That?” he glances at the two still standing there, they have gone silent and just look at each other with the softest, warmest eyes. “Of course. They are like family to each other and worry a lot. It’s perfectly normal,” he explains with a smile.

“I see,” Yunho nods, still glancing at the two who are now pulling apart and heading to the car. He takes one of the bags, and as the two men arrive, they grab one each. As all of them have a bag in hand, Hongjoong locks the car, and they collectively head upstairs. San and Seonghwa are leading the way. They aren’t speaking out loud, but it looks as if they are talking with their eyes, and it is almost like Yunho and Hongjoong are left out of a very deep conversation, but Hongjoong doesn’t mind at all.

“It is so odd to be back again,” Seonghwa sighs as they enter the apartment. While everyone else takes their shoes off, he looks around, and his gaze stops at the ivy plant. “So you didn’t throw it out?” he asks with a smile and turns to San.

“Of course! Why would I? It seems to like it here anyway,” San almost sounds offended at the question. “It’s nice to have something yours still here,” he adds before proceeding to the unoccupied room. Yunho has to admit he is very, very confused, but he starts to slowly glue pieces of information presenting before him together.

“Seonghwa, you lived here before?” he asks the man who has placed Yunho’s bag on the floor and made his way to the kitchen and quite casually is gathering some candy wrappers, throwing them away. How at home he feels should say enough, but Yunho needs a verbal confirmation.

“Yes. Sani and I moved here together. We come… from the same city,” he replies with a slight smile. He opens a cupboard filled with glasses and mugs and chooses one at random, fills it with water from the sink, and makes his way to the ivy plant. “I’ve moved with HongJoong already for three months or so,” he adds while watering the deep green plant.

“Four actually, but okay,” San reenters the living room, and his voice sounds upset; the pout on his full lips only emphasizes it. “You’ve been busy, I guess,” he pouts even more and grabs the bag Yunho Seonghwa has left on the floor and takes it to the room.

“Sani…” Seonghwa sighs and hands the cup to Hongjoong, who is somehow next to him at that moment. He walks past even more confused Yunho than before, and the latter has to turn to HongJoong, who just shakes his head slowly. 

“It is a very long story that doesn’t require an explanation right now. Trust me,” the red-hair says with a sigh and makes his way to the kitchen to place the cup away. “I believe you will get the full story at on point,” he turns back to Yunho, and as he does, Seonghwa comes back to the living room. A door shuts with a loud bang, and Seonghwa stops in his tracks. He squeezes his eyes shut and obviously bites his lower lip from the inside to hold back emotion of a sort but by the looks of it, not a positive one. 

“Let’s just go,” he sighs and walks to the door but stops next to Yunho. “Sorry, your move-in is suddenly… this. Give him a moment to calm down,” he tries to smile, but it looks pained, and he looks away instead. There is a light ring in the air from his earrings moving from how fast he heads to the door, into his shoes, and out of the apartment.

“Sorry,” Hongjoong switches his gaze from the door to Yunho a few times before he rushes out, barely stepping into his shoes. In counted seconds, Yunho is left alone in his new home - confused about how the loving meeting barely 30 minutes ago suddenly turned into this and what exactly is behind it. He sincerely hopes Hongjoong is right, and he would get some sort of explanation eventually or rather soon.


	2. ~ II ~

Week one is adaptation week.

The first evening after Seonghwa and Hongjoong leaves, San comes out of his room seemingly deflated with the saddest pout on his lips and an undeniable need for a good, long hug. The sleeves of his hoodie, which he had rolled up before, have now slid down covering his hands. He has left his slides in the room, walking around barefoot. He looks like a little pile of sadness, and Yunho’s hands itch to at least pat him on the back. But who is Yunho to even offer that as he has just stepped into the apartment with his bags and a box of gaming a set. 

San quietly helps him unpack and makes coffee for them at one point in two shape and size-wise unmatching mugs. But he doesn’t speak much - just a few polite phrases and questions of where to place things. Compared to when they first met, he seems like a completely different person, and it is somehow sad. Yunho has no idea what the story is between him and Seongwha to go from loving to heartbroken in minutes, but asking would be rude, so he lets it slide. Hongjoong said he would find out one day, and he can wait.

The next morning San is back to his bubbly self with the softest dimple smile on his lips as he preps a light breakfast which consists of fruit and snacks he has stacked in piles in several cupboards. Yunho doesn’t complain and doesn’t ask a thing as he bites into a muesli-bar and looks at the man across from him stuffing his face with the snack bar and an apple slice at the same time as he scrolls through his social media feed. He has his one leg bent, feet resting on the seat of the chair, which is a very odd sitting position for Yunho but looks very comfortable for the smaller man. And who is Yunho to judge, right?

As Yunho has to leave for his part-time job in the early afternoon and he returns from it only very late at night, they don’t spend much time together on Sunday apart from breakfast. The said breakfast is pleasantly quiet, and they exchange Instagram accounts and then clean up wrappers and apple peels, rinse their cups, and it seems like a well-oiled routine already. He leaves San flopped down on the couch, browsing through the channels, and returns to the apartment dark and quiet.

The moment Yuho leaves to work on Sunday, San sinks deeper into the sofa. He covers his face with one of the pillows on it and lets out a muffled yell. This is actually much harder than he first thought it would be, and it is only day one. It would have helped if his new flat-mate wasn’t attractive, but Yunho is very much that and more even in the very not flattering grey and yellow store uniform he was wearing. The contrast with his russet brown hair was almost nice, and the gentle look in his eyes only added to it.

San lets out another yelp into the pillow. He is determined to do his very best to make this work, despite the urges coursing through him and making his animalistic and repulsive needs to come forward before being human. He is, however, stronger than those, or so he believes.

They run into each other on Monday morning whilst getting ready for the lectures. Yunho feels like such a preppy teacher’s pet of a student in his button-down shirt and sweater combo in comparison to San. He’s sporting a band t-shirt and black zipper hoodie jacket, complete with rings on his fingers and a few layers of silver chains around his neck. His hair slicked back from his face only adds to the look, and for a good 30 seconds, Yunho is mute until he can push out a ‘good morning.’

The slightly intimidating aura the man has when appears does not last long as San burns himself with coffee as soon as he sips on it. The wide-eyed and panicked look - tongue out trying to cool it down - completely bursts the bubble, and Yunho can gladly react fast in getting cold water for the flailing man. The panic fades slowly, but San doesn’t dare to pick up the mug again, frowning at the still steaming object as he slowly chews on a banana. It takes all of Yunho’s self-control not to laugh out loud at the expression the man before him is making. Not a bad start of a new day and a whole new week, at least to Yunho.

They continue to mostly run into each other in the mornings as their lectures end at odd times, and Yunho heads to work most afternoons. On the one hand, it is a bit disappointing they don’t have time to chat and maybe get to know each other better, but on the other hand, it is better than having people barging into the dorm room with their daily bothers. Though, it wouldn’t be too bad to talk with San. It wouldn’t be bad at all, at least to Yunho’s mind.

Thursday evening rolls around faster than Yunho can imagine. He gets home earlier than usual, and it is probably one of the evenings he looks forward to the most - just to sit around and relax. The apartment seems to be empty as he enters. He kicks his shoes off and leaves his bag by the door, slowly strolling to the kitchen to grab something to snack on after a long day. He turns only the small counter lights and opens a cupboard looking through its content when he hears something behind him. What he doesn’t expect is a sleepy San to shuffle out of his room in nothing more but underwear that fits him perhaps too well. He doesn’t seem to notice Yunho until he is right next to him, taking a glass of water. Their eyes meet, and they both stare at each other wide-eyed.

“I didn’t know you would get home earlier,” San murmurs as he places the glass back on the counter after taking a sip. “I’m also not used to someone being here yet,” he admits, and Yunho just nods slowly, looking at everything but San at this point. He had successfully pushed the perfect half-naked image of the man before him to the back of his head with the intent not to remember it for a while. Yet here it is before him once more.

“It’s fine. Just FYI, Thursdays are shorter days for me. On Fridays, I am home already in the afternoon. Saturdays are free for me,” he informs San as calmly as he can as the man leans back against the counter, crossing his arms on his chest as if the definition of his muscles wasn’t enough as it is. It is day five, and it is already and suddenly so difficult for Yunho. Then again, living together with someone clearly stunning is not easy in general.

“I’ll try to remember,” San nods with a small, thoughtful pout. “I have Thursdays and Saturdays kind of off, too,” he murmurs more to himself. “I usually go out on Fridays,” he adds and looks at Yunho, who has managed to lock his eyes on San’s face. Although the man looks quite sinful, his face is no less than adorable, and it is almost therapeutic to look at the small cute expressions he is making.

“We could, like, do something together if you want? Or else we don’t see each other much. That’s kind of weird,” San’s eyes seem to sparkle in the dim light of the kitchen, and nothing else really catches Yunho’s attention, even if San does lean back more against the counter, holding onto the edge of it. His eyes seem to capture endless universes, and it is so captivating Yunho admittedly feels a bit like a fool staring so intensely into them.

“Sure. I’d love that,” Yunho smiles, and there is a smile greeting him back, and the situation that was a bit of an awkward minute ago now seems to be almost relaxing. It is, however, dangerously close to slipping back into the uncomfortable territory as they just remain standing in the barely lit kitchen looking at one another.

“Are you tired now, or maybe you want to watch a movie or something? I just woke up from a nap, and I don’t think I will be able to sleep soon,” San speaks first, and even if Yunho would be tired, he wouldn’t say no. 

“I just need to wash up and change, and I am down,” he smiles, and there is this genuinely happy expression on San’s face. His features are so animated Yunho involuntary thinks of how many different emotions would look good on them (all thoughts still being decent as he is not a creep).

“Cool! I will probably put some clothes on then,” he laughs a bit, his cheeks appearing pinker than before, pushes off the counter, and walks to his room. It takes a second for Yunho to gather his thoughts and his physical self so he could actually move. He goes to grab his bag and makes his way to his room, where he spends just a few minutes before heading to the shower.

As the water in the bathroom starts running, San needs to take in another deep breath as if the five inhales he took as he closed the door of his room were not enough. His heart is beating fast, and even though he hadn’t planned on any of this, it is turning out better than expected. He hadn’t realized how much he had missed to casually spend some time with someone at home. Even more so, all he ever saw and heard of Yunho was him going away or coming home whilst his scent began to settle in the apartment more and more, slowly erasing what was left of Seonghwa’s scent. Who would have known that a human could possess such a vibrant and robust aroma? 

San breathes in deeply once more before throwing on one of his oversized hoodies and heading back to the living room. The soft excitement in his chest is so oddly beautiful San doesn’t want to question it even though he should. He should question every feeling he has towards someone and how he expresses it as it is a privilege to feel something at all. He still has his doubts about doing this new flatmate thing too soon and whether he will be able to handle it. When Yunho shuffles to the sofa - hair damp, no perfume masking his natural scent - San both thinks it is all too soon and right on time. The control question remains unanswered. 

Week two sets in routines.

The spontaneous movie begins a chain of comfortable routine activities Yunho doesn’t complain about at all. From then on, all Thursdays become movie nights - the literal meaning of the infamous phrase ‘Netflix and chill,’ where all they would do is browse the movie catalog the site offers and watch something lighthearted before departing to sleep. The living room would fill with joyous laughter or annoyed comments towards the main characters, with the fizzing of soft drinks in their mugs and the crunching of chips. 

The only thing that stresses Yunho out is how most of the time, only underwear and a hoodie is San’s chosen outfit. He is not a creep or a pervert, but he is also very single for a very long time, and San is beautiful in all possible ways, and the movie seems less interesting than how the smaller man hugs the pillow and curls in the corner of the sofa. He looks and sounds so genuinely happy the film on the screen does not matter at all. San’s expressions and wide eyes are far more captivating, and even when Yunho is caught staring not just once, he can’t beat the new habit.

Yunho soon finds out that Friday San is entirely different from Thursday San. For Yunho personally, Fridays become gaming afternoons and evenings when he can utilize the big TV screen, turn his controller on, get on a server with his friends and just focus on the game for a good couple of hours. In the dorm, it was virtually impossible for many reasons, but here, having a bit of time just for himself is idyllic. It, however, crystalizes a big difference between him and San.

For San Fridays are party evenings, and saying he goes all out to impress is an understatement. He always has his makeup on - shimmering eyeshadow and deep black eyeliner, often red lipstick patted in the middle of his lips or a bit of a gloss dragging attention to his pouty lips. His hair is most often swept back from his face, showing off his features, sometimes held back by bobby-pins or braids at the sides. And the outfits - tight-fitting pants with rips and chains, heavy boots, well-fitted v-neck t-shirts or sleeveless shirts in combination with several different leather jackets or deep blue denim. All decorated with accessories - rings, necklaces, chokers, earrings - to such perfection, one could think he has a professional stylist hidden in his room. 

San leaves around 6 pm and always returns way over midnight, closer to early morning hours. The first time Yunho is still awake by accident when San comes home. He returns alone and completely sober, nothing in his actions show any sort of intoxication. Moreso, he enters the apartment as quietly as he can, probably assuming Yunho is sleeping, jumping a little when the man on the sofa greets him from the cast of bluish light falling from the TV. The next time and all times after that, Yunho stays up on purpose, always waiting for San to come home safely before going to sleep. He can’t pinpoint why but he needs to know San has gotten home. He is not sure what he would do if he wouldn’t one night but he has to be sure the smaller man is home safe.

Saturday San is once again so different from Friday San. He huddles up in comfy slacks and hoody - hood on and pulled together until only his face shows, his cheeks always looking extra soft - as they both make their way to the shop. It becomes a tradition of sorts to go grocery shopping together on Saturday mornings and having breakfast ramen at the counter in the store. Whoever they meet behind the counter seem to know San and warm up to Yunho soon enough which creates the feeling of community in the area one couldn’t get at a dorm

At the store, San would carefully look at labels on products and enjoy kicking off from the floor and gliding around the aisles on the shopping carts. Nothing like the predator he looked like on Friday. He would whine at different snacks either because they would not have the flavor he wants or because they are placed too high on the shelves (where Yunho is a great help). There is almost something very childlike about his behavior but not infantile. It’s more precious than annoying. Actually, it is not annoying at all, and Yunho knows he must stare at him with the most endeared smile on his face most of the time. There is a pleasant tug in his chest when he sees the man smiling, and he disregards it to the pure happiness of having a new friend, while deep down, he starts to realize that’s not it.

San has never blushed so much in his entire existence, and he is not sure is it a human thing or is a ‘Yunho thing.’ He can feel Yunho’s gaze on his skin as they sit on the sofa together, watching lame comedies and overly dramatic thrillers. There is nothing malicious or lustful about the gaze - it feels feather-light and calming, thus most of the time San pretends he doesn’t notice Yunho staring. He knows his cheeks are red, and he hopes the blue hue from the screen washes the color out. The moment being ruined would be awful if his rosy cheeks would be noticed.

On Friday evenings, Yunho’s eyes feel different. At first, there is always admiration, and a hint of very muted lust, and San can feel it filling his veins with a boost of energy. As everything else he has made off-limits for himself, he can feed on admiration and desire well enough so he senses it very well. The amounts flowing from Yunho in the few minutes they spend in one room before San leaves is enough for a while, but he can’t make it visible. Putting on a full show, even though he always did when he went to ‘hunt for adoration,’ is entirely worth it with such a reaction. But Yunho’s gaze always carries a tint of concern with it and then a hint of relief when San returns home. The latter makes what can be called a heart in San’s chest heavy.

It gets even heavier when Yunho starts to wait up for him, and as soon as San reaches his room, he has to try and keep his heart still by pressing down on his chest. He doesn’t need this feeling now or ever, but since meeting Yunho, he can’t shake it off. Be it Thursday movies, Friday late greetings, or Saturday shopping - Yunho makes his cheeks red, and heart to beat fast, and he has no idea what to do with it. He can’t fall for Yunho. He isn’t allowed to.

  
  


Week six brings unexpected feelings.

It has not even been a full two months, but Yunho is sure he has gotten himself into massive emotional trouble. He is sure - one hundred percent convinced - that his fascination with San will run low soon enough, the time they spent together increasing in number, but instead, it only grows. Even more and more small things are endearing about him, and Yunho can swear he becomes more beautiful by the day as well. San tends to look so delicate and precious - like a small piece of amber washed out on the shore - needing nothing more or less than protection and someone to look after him. But just like the amber he hides strength, Yunho knows it, but he can’t help himself to keep an eye on him.

Yunho is drawn to San like a needle to a magnet. To his laugh and sparkling eyes; to his pouty lips and cutest dimples; to his messy, fluffy hair and small hands; to the lines and curves of the black ink on his skin and clinking sound of his earrings when he moves around. Even on Friday evenings when he is so different - the stars changed to sultry look in his eyes, the rather cute tapping of bare feet on the floors changed into boot-clad steps of confidence, the shine of a small amber shifted to a bold aura of a thousand year old confidence. Yunho is quite ridiculously drawn to it all. But it all stops there.

It's almost a curse of Yunho’s - taking a step forward and at least finding out if San is interested seems incredibly hard. All he knows San might have a girlfriend or a boyfriend, or he is not interested at all. But it is eating him from the inside not to know, not to have at least some sense of direction when it comes to dealing with what he starts to feel more and more. His only logical solution is starting a conversation of the one person whose relation to San still has him restless as it could bring answers.

“I saw Seonghwa today,” he drops casually as they sit on the sofa, a random movie from the Netflix list playing in the background. He is not lying. He actually sees Seonghwa quite often as the man comes to pick up Hongjoong from late lectures every time or walks him to the early ones before heading to his own. He always greets Yunho with a smile, and a few times, he has asked how San is doing but nothing more than that.

“Oh…” San breathes out and very obviously bites on his lower lip, his gaze still focused on the screen. By now, Yunho can tell when San is truly watching or just thinking about something (all from his extensive observation of the man, all for science).

“He asked to say ‘hi,’” this, however, is a lie on Yunho’s part. In his defense, Seonghwa did ask how San is doing, so that is close enough to a greeting. To this, San just nods, and the air in the room is a bit heavy.

“It might not be entirely my business, but Hongjoong is a good friend of mine, and it kind of connects us all in a way,” he tries to build a decent sentence and to bring his intended question to reality. “Why are you so upset with Seonghwa?” 

San breathes in deeply and then exhales slowly. He hugs the pillow he's holding tighter against his chest, resting his chin against it staring at the TV for a moment, and it seems like he will ignore the question. However, he does not.

“I am upset because he left,” San says with a small pout, and his chin sinks deeper into the pillow.

“He… left you…” Yunho tries to make the context out of the few words San has given him.

“We weren’t a couple if you are wondering. He’s good looking, but we are too much like family to be one. But I am upset he left me behind, yes,” San responds to the unasked question, and Yunho nods at first, only then realizing he has actually understood only the first part of the response.

“How so?” he turns more towards San instead of the flashing TV screen, and in return, San reaches for the remote and turns the volume down but does not turn to Yunho.

“We came here together - leaving all of our past life behind us or more like erasing it as much as we could. Our goal was to steadily move forward until nothing here seemed off  or odd  for us,” San speaks with chin on the pillow, his eyes sad and looking at the shadows jumping around on the floor instead of the screen. “But around half a year in, he met Hongjoong and then just moved out,” he pouts in the most devastatingly sad way.

“It doesn’t mean you both can’t continue with your plan? You don’t need to live together, especially if he is like your family,” Yunho throws his arm on the backrest of the couch and leans against it. What he doesn’t expect is for San to lay his head on the pillow and turn to Yunho. It takes all Yunho has not to gasp in awe or to move closer to the so obviously heartbroken man.

“It is a bit more complicated than that. But don’t worry. I don’t hate him, and it is nice to hear he is actually doing well. Hongjoong is very nice, and I am glad for Seonghwa to find someone like that. I just sometimes take it too much to heart, I guess,” there is a sad smile on San’s lips and, in a way, Yunho gets it. If your best friend kind of, very low key, drops you for a romantic relationship after both of you have pretty obviously not had the best life behind, it must sting. Especially if you are very single during all that. Yunho understood that part very well.

“You will find someone like that too,” Yunho tries to reassure San. He truly believes that San deserves to have someone who would adore him the way Hongjoong very obviously and sickeningly sweetly adores Seonghwa (Yunho hears and sees a lot of it during lectures). San just shakes his head.

“If someone as wonderful as you is single, I have absolutely no chance of finding anyone,” there is a deep sadness and almost desperation, almost longing in San’s eyes, and Yunho is tongue-tied upon seeing such expression. Even more so, the words that have just come from his mouth make Yunho even more speechless. 

“I think we should skip the movie today,” San sighs and takes the remote again, turning the TV off, and the room sinks into semi-darkness apart from the counter lights in the kitchen. Yunho can’t even put together a sentence as San stands up and leaves the pillow on the sofa.

“I’m sorry I brought this up,” he finally manages to put words in a row. He jumps to his feet, looking at San’s back to the best of his eyes' ability. His head is full of thoughts, and he doesn’t know exactly what to say or do. San’s words replay in his head, but he has no clue what to do with them.

“Don’t worry. It’s fine,” San shakes his head before walking to his room and leaving Yunho alone in the dark in both in a physical and emotional sense.

  
  


San falls face-first into his bed the moment the door of his room closes. It is the only way to keep his loud and uneven breathing under control and unheard outside the darkness of his room. This is too much and too close of a call as he allowed himself to speak before thinking his words through. Now his head is filled with the illogically terrifying possibility of Yunho leaving too - of losing the wonderful human who filled the space around San with nothing less than joy. He wouldn’t handle it well, he knows it.

It hasn’t been too long - just a month and a half - but he is obviously very much a man of habit, and he can no longer imagine his week without Thursday evenings and Saturday mornings. He can’t think of going through a day without feeling Yunho’s warm gaze or hearing his voice, without gaining energy from his very presence. And all this while he shouldn’t feel any of it. All this after he has used the very image of the wonderful man engraved in his mind for unspeakable things.

He is a vile, slithering creature from the deepest depths of fiery nothingness, cursed with an unsatisfactory need which seems to be both physical and emotional in his human form. The very thought of having nothing less than pure feelings for someone so warm, so caring and bright as Yunho makes him shiver. He does not deserve a disgrace to existence like San to ever think of him, but here San is for the hundredth time doing it again. At least this time, his thoughts are decent but a week-long cycle each month, a disgusting demonic heat, makes his thoughts wander.

Already twice he has let his desire and hunger-clouded mind to bring out most ludicrous fantasies. Of Yunho holding him close, his hands on San’s skin, his breath against the curve of his neck, his body moving against San’s and both of them slipping into shared bodily insanity and sinful debauchery. And all that in San’s twisted mind on those cursed six days. He will never be able to express fully how truly sorry he is for even using Yunho’s image for such thoughts, but he can’t think of anyone else. Yunho has taken hold of the beating heart in San’s chest and not letting it go.

San has fallen into adoration for how he is being treated - how human he seems to Yunho. He truly enjoys the feeling of being looked after and not in the same way as Seonghwa used to. There are these small, truly happy sparks in his chest, and he is afraid one moment they will set him ablaze, and he will blurt out everything he feels and thinks. This evening was already just a small example of all he could say. His heart is full to brim, and it is dangerously close to overflowing at any moment.

So many little things add to the waving chalice of emotions. Such as Yunho waiting up for him on Fridays, or him bringing special limited snacks home from work and leaving them on the table for San. He always wakes up earlier and makes sure that the coffee for San is drinkable and not scolding hot. Just him smiling brightly made San’s day. Even overwhelming Yunho’s scent that lingers in every corner of the apartment apart from San’s room is wonderful to him. It is warm, deep, and welcoming, and the last part is what San doesn’t need.

San lets out a muffled scream into his mattress and hopes the sound doesn't reach Yunho. He has to do something about how he feels, he has to put himself in check, but he has doubts he will be able to control the maddening urges from his heart even more than his body.


	3. ~ III ~

Yunho no longer wants to count how long he has lived with San as all of it is precious, and he has a feeling that by counting something, he can summon its end. He knows it is somewhere between two, two and a half months, and that is enough for him. It would be great if this ‘enough’ would apply to how Yunho feels about San as well, yet there is something bubbling in his chest he has to keep under control. At this point, he has come to terms with just being around the probably sweetest, cutest, most adorable man he has ever met. It is not much, but it is enough.

Yet another Friday evening has rolled around. Yunho is comfortably settled on the couch, leaning against the back of it, headphones around his neck instead of being on his ears. He is just looking through game updates at this point and waiting for San to come home. He said goodbye to his friends online on a while ago, but he can’t leave for his room, not yet. Yunho is well aware that San is a grown man and obviously knows what he is doing, but he can’t help himself. And this time, he is so glad he has waited up.

Around 2 AM, he hears the usual rattling of keys at the door and takes off his headphones completely and stands up to go and greet the man returning. Yet an unknown voice makes him freeze in his tracks. It is not San speaking - the voice sounds deeper and older, definitely not kind but more so demanding and persistent - and as Yunho listens carefully, he wishes he wouldn’t as a plethora of dirty, disgusting suggestions rain towards San.

“I already told you at the party to fuck off,” San responds, and that is all Yunho needs to hear before he strides to the door with giant steps and pulls it open even before San gets the key in the lock. 

There is San standing before him - as gorgeous as always, but most certainly with an uneasy look on his face. A man probably in his early thirties is right behind him, about to grab on San’s shoulder but stopping as he sees Yunho. “Yunho…” San gasps out quietly, and the bespoken looks at him with the softest smile he can get out of himself at this point before turning his eyes to the man.

“You can go inside,” he says calmly even though everything in him is boiling up. He is usually not aggressive or confrontational, but he is protective, especially of the shorter man that slips into the apartment past him. He fills up the whole frame of the door with his tall stature, one hand on the door handle ready to close it at any second and another balled in a fist by his side.

“And you can leave,” he says in a low, menacing voice staring the man down. The latter seems rather unbothered by his presence and keeps trying to look past him and find San.

“Yeah, I’m going with him,” the man seems to not catch the overall vibe and tries to push past Yunho but with no success. He is barely reaching Yunho’s chin and has absolutely no chances against him. He could be a gamer who loves to sit on a couch and indulge in imaginary worlds, but he also carries boxes upon boxes at the store back on a daily basis. Yunho is no way as frail as he could look in an oversized shirt and slacks.

“You are not,” Yunho keeps his voice under control as much as he can, but he knows he does not sound like his usual self. Violence is never a solution, but he is fully ready to knock the man out if he needs to.

“As if you are the one to decide, ain’t it right sweets?” he calls out, and Yunho looks over his shoulder at San, who has pulled the most disgusted face at the nickname used towards him.

“If I wasn’t clear the first ten times, let me repeat. Fuck. Off,” San emphasizes the last two words and crosses his arms on his chest. His own voice has dropped an octave too, and it is evident to anyone he is disgusted and displeased.

“You heard him,” Yunho doesn’t say a word more and moves to close the door. The man is so delirious he tries to push the door back open, but Yunho is faster and stronger, pushing the man back with his shoulder before closing it with a thud and locking it. A row of profanities rains upon the barrier between them before the man walks away, and only when he is gone, Yunho lets out a breath, and so does San.

The taller man doesn’t even think twice before walking to San with large steps, his hands on San’s shoulders immediately. “Are you okay?” he asks and feels how shaken he himself is, his voice still low and booming from his chest. He scans San head to toe, making sure he is in one piece, even though it was clear the man hadn’t dared to engage in physical contact yet, at least to what Yunho knew.

“I’m fine. This is not the worst that has ever happened,” San blurts out so casually he himself understands his error, his eyes growing big in reactions to Yunho’s shocked face. “I’m always fine though,” he quickly adds, but Yunho seems to hear him just vaguely.

“What do you mean? Worse things happen, and you still keep going out? Are you alone at those parties, or do you have friends there to help just in case?” Yunho starts to spit out questions one after another and stops only when he feels San’s hands on his cheeks. They cup his cheeks just perfectly- the skin soft, warm, and gentle with cold contrast coming from his rings.

“I am always safe, even if there is no one there with me. I don’t drink or smoke or use any other kind of substance. I even bring my own water. Neither do I bring someone home or go to someone’s place. Ever. I just go there to dance, and that’s it,” he speaks softly, his eyes locked with Yunho’s. The sparse blue glitter around his eyes, catching the light from the kitchen counter and reflecting into his already shining eyes. “You don’t have to worry, but thank you so much for still doing it,” he continues, still holding Yunho’s face in his hands, and the latter keeps looking at him wide-eyed.

“Sorry,” San pulls his hands back, and Yunho feels a twitch in his hands to put them back on his cheeks as it felt so lovely to have them there. They are so soft and warm he can’t believe this is the first time in all these weeks he has truly felt San’s touch.

“Of course I worry,” Yunho tries to ignore his ears and cheeks burning, probably bright red by now. “You really should not go alone if this is what happens,” he tries to insist but doesn’t imagine he would get quite a shocking response.

“Come with me next week,” San says, and Yunho is taken aback. “You will be able to see I keep everything under control, and this is just one mishap in a hundred.”

“O… okay,” Yunho agrees, and now San is the one who looks shaken by the response. “I will go with you. In case this dude thinks of trying something again next week,” he justifies his decision even though it is not only that. He truly wants to make sure that San is safe. He is seemingly okay, but who knows what he has been through before or what he is hiding from Yunho under a strong facade.

“It’s a deal then. We are going together next Friday,” San nods, and they remain standing in the middle of the living room in complete silence for a few minutes just looking at each other before San speaks again. “It’s late. So I guess it’s time to go to sleep.” 

“Yeah. Agreed. I just need to turn everything off here,” Yunho scratches the back of his head and looks at the TV that is still on. “Goodnight,” he quickly turns back to San, who gives him the softest smile in a while.

“Goodnight. And once more, thank you,” he looks like he wants to say something more, but he doesn’t and walks to his room instead. Once more, Yunho is left in the semi-darkness of the living room, but this time, he prefers it to get his thoughts in check. He could never think 10 minutes could be this eventful.

San rests his back against the door and slides to the very ground, panting heavily. The leather jacket he is wearing over a black t-shirt slides off his shoulders, and he doesn’t care when it lands on the floor. His legs can’t stay still it seems, moving and sliding over the floor, trying to rub together against his will and give friction between them. There are shivers running all over his body from his fingertips to his cock, and they are not from fear but the exact opposite - unimaginable excitement. Why did Yunho have to be like this tonight?

How low his voice was, his stature more confident than San has ever seen, the piercing, fiery gaze in his eyes that could make a man kneel. It was a completely different side of the usually bright and temperate man, and it made everything in San’s being go insane. And the maddening contrast of how soft, warm, and round his cheeks were in San’s palms, how secure his grip on San’s shoulders was. He wants to touch himself, his hands restless and searching for something to grab on. His head hits the door with a quiet thud, and he swallows loudly as he has promised himself he won’t dare to perform any sexual acts apart from the days of the heat when he can’t help it. But it is so incredibly tempting and tantalizing.

San claws at his chest over his shirt as everything is going insane in the space between his ribs, his fingers shifting and changing with each movement. His back is tingling and itching, his eyes are dimming, and he feels the skin on the side of his head stretching, threatening to burst. Everything is about to break open and let out the disgusting creature he is behind the human mask he is grabbing onto so desperately.

“No,” San hisses through clenched teeth and tries to move forward but collapses on all fours. He can feel his own bones shifting, skin flaking off from hidden scales. He can see his breathing before him - that’s how hot it has become in comparison to air in the room. “No,” he utters again and crawls forward until he can reach the edge of the bed. “Yunho will not be the reason I go back to this involuntarily. He doesn’t deserve it,” he murmurs and hides his face against the bed.

It is probably the hardest fight he has ever had with himself, and it takes good twenty minutes for him to calm down. What makes him shiver and think of how much harder it will be is the thought of having Yunho with him at the party next week. He always is on his best, teasing hunter behavior during them, and San knows himself well enough to know he will definitely not hold back and maybe will even go overboard. If there is a chance to harvest even more of the adoration he can feel from Yunho and even stronger levels of desire, San won’t hold back. Even a bit.

  
  


This Friday afternoon is probably the most stressful one in Yunho’s life. Not because of the fact he has to attend a party which is definitely a bunch of people not from his kind of crowd, but because of how close San is to him the whole time. Not only does the smaller man request Yunho to change twice, approving of a combo of deep blue, tighter jeans and a multicolor knit sweater that goes halfway to Yunho’s thighs, but he also styles him.

San reaches up to add just a little bit of deep burnt orange eyeshadow of the outer corners of Yunho’s eyes - top and bottom - and a matching glitter just barely on his lid gently tapping it on with his fingertips. His fingers gently apply a bit of gloss to the center of Yunho’s lips, and his touch is so light, his eyes on Yunho’s mouth so intense the latter feels light-headed for a second. The culmination is the layers of necklaces settling around his neck - all from San’s extensive collection - and instead of walking around and closing them from behind, San tiptoes and almost rests his whole weight on Yunho's chest as he fiddles with them. 

It doesn’t get even a bit easier when they reach the party. It matches San - tattoos, all black, chains, guitar-heavy music, and people so visually similar to him, but no one even closely reaches his level of beauty. Maybe that is why no one really interacts with him but admires from afar, yet San is not bothered. He wanders around, Yunho tagging along, before heading to the dance floor and Yunho never knew what he would see would break a specific promise he made to himself.

It all starts calmly, but the more Yunho looks at San losing himself in the music, the more hypnotized he becomes, and as the dancing grows in strength, he can barely keep the focus on anything else. Yunho can feel his own grip on the beer can which he got from one of the tables tighten, and he is afraid he will crush it completely. He has to hold onto something before he goes unacceptably feral. His eyes are glued to the improvised dance corner, and he doesn’t even glance at anyone else on it but San. He has seen a lot of things, but nothing can compare to the scene before his eyes, and he knows it by the twitch he feels in his pants, hoping he has only imagined it. He is not a pervert, right?

San has full control of the dance floor as Manson’s ‘Tainted Love’ blasts through the speakers. His outfit of the evening is as seductive and as impressive as always, and it’s not helping. Tight black jeans, ripped right on the thighs, and showing the plump flesh of wonderfully. The double-row chain swings from his belt as he rolls and sways his hips from side to side, reflecting the purple and blue lights surrounding him. The deep blue denim jacket he loved so much has fallen off one of his shoulders, showing off his toned, inked upper arm and collarbone due to the sleeveless vest in bright red he has chosen to wear. His neck leans back graciously, the leather choker and a couple of silver necklaces it’s paired with accentuating everything about it, the deep v-neck and the red fabric only helping.

His movements go from smooth swaying and sensual body rolls as if he is riding the rhythm - his hands going over his own torso, lifting the edge of the vest just a bit - to sharp hip thrusts with each blare of the guitars and bass. He is mouthing along with the lyrics, his lips moving seductively - his tongue swiping over them, teeth pulling onto the bottom lip once in a while. For most of the time, his eyes are half shut, the black mane braided to the side of his head on the left, letting the silver earring shine in the fluorescent lights, while the right side flows freely. San is absolutely sinful and has so many eyes on him Yunho is close to yelling at everyone to look away. This isn’t for everyone to see, and he can swear this is meant just for one person to observe, but he doesn’t allow the thought to fully manifest in his mind. His jeans feel tighter, but he ignores it.

The song changes to ‘This is the New Shit,’ the DJ obviously loving San’s antics on the dance floor. The jacket comes off from both shoulders and rests on his elbows as San slowly squats down, basically slut-dropping to the intro of the song. His eyes have found Yunhos’ as if he has locked on a target - the latter is sure of it, and his throat feels so dry he almost downs all of his beer at once. It doesn’t help when San mouths the lyrics again. Yunho’s might be hazy, but he swears he has never seen someone’s lips look more inviting than San’s when he repeats ‘sex, sex, sex’ along with the song. Yunho might feel another twitch in his pants.

It is an absolute change when the chorus hits. San jumps on his feet and, as if in a trance, the people around him follow along in an improvised headbang session. San’s expression changes to a maniacal grin, his eyes burning with the most intense energy Yunho has ever seen. He is magnetic, and more and more people join in screaming along with the shouts in the chorus. As the chorus fades, he returns to the same seductive movements. Everyone else is just a blurry background with San shining in the middle. He looks devilish, almost possessed as he eyes Yunho across the room. 

Yunho could watch San forever just controlling the dance floor. Each lyric that leaves his lips is like a nail in the coffin of Yunho’s sanity, and the beer in his hand is empty by the second half of the song. His feet are restless, and he is very close to striding forward and claiming the control not only over the dance floor but also over San who has gone wild and probably has not just Yunho looking at him.

As the next song starts to fade in a guy, Yunho has never seen in his entire life, slithers behind San, placing his hands on San’s hips as if he knows the man. Yunho is already taking a step forward to interfere, his hands clenched in fists, but San is faster. He turns around with a lovely smile and grabs the man’s collar, making him excited and grinning from ear to ear. Instead of whatever the man is expecting, San loudly hisses ‘hands off’ and pushes the man away from himself with such strength he tumbles and lands on the floor, the excitement fades fast almost shifting to fear on his face.

San throws the jacket back on his shoulders and marches off the dance floor straight to Yunho. As he approaches, Yunho can see the sweat glistening on his face and neck, slowly gliding over his collarbones, which is suddenly unbelievably attractive. He, however, looks pissed off as he stumps to where Yunho stands. He grabs the water bottle he left for Yunho to guard and almost downs it in one go - his neck arching wonderfully, Adam's apple moving as he does so.

“There’s always that one asshole who ruins the fun, and when he does, I usually leave” he frowns, and from sensual and intimidating, he has gone back to his usual adorable self. “Do you want to stay, or can we go home?” he asks, and Yunho has never said ‘yes’ to anything faster. He, however, silently thanks he was made to choose a sweater long enough to cover the front of his pants, or else a lot of eyes would turn to him. Even the moment of pure anger did not win over the effect San has on him. He couldn’t remember the last time he has felt this turned on just from watching someone dance, but here he is. And it wasn’t just a regular someone. 

The cab ride home is comfortable and casual, if not the fact it is a bit hard for Yunho to sit still, and there is this scalding heat radiating from San. There is plenty of space on the back-seat of the car, but somehow, they are basically sitting hip to hip, and Yunho feels like a blushing virgin as this is all he needs. He can virtually smell the scent coming from San, which is a mix of the cologne he uses and something more primal if that is even the right word to use. All Yunho knows is that he won’t be able to keep it together for much longer.

As soon as he and San part their ways at the door of their rooms, San smiling such a beautiful and shy smile as he thanks Yunho for coming along before wishing Yunho a good night, Yunho disappears in his room. His hand almost immediately goes into his jeans, and he physically can’t stop himself even though he has promised himself he would never use the image of San for something like this. But the side of San he saw today has broken him. He curses at the belt, the button, the zipper, and the sweater that is too long now and in the way. He stumbles to the bed, tossing the sweater away, the metal of his necklaces touching his bare skin and making him shiver. He shivers again, remembering those are San’s necklaces that now graze against his skin, and they make him remember the mans’ weight against his chest.

The second he can wrap his hand around his still half-hard cock, his eyes flutter shut, and all he can see is San moving. How he grinds the air, how he moves to the music, how his hips snap and sway to the rhythm and as disgraceful as it seems he imagines the smaller man doing the same but in his lap. San’s weight against him is fresh in his memory, his scent still swirling around Yunho, his sensual image before Yunho’s closed eyes. His imagination is so vivid he could swear he hears San moaning and groaning, he can feel San grinding against Yunho, and he loves it - every second of it - so much it is wrong to admit it.

“Fuck… San...” he breathes out as he comes, barely keeping his voice quiet. Everything is foggy and hazy, but he can swear he hears another moan across the hallway, but he can’t think about it now, dealing with his own high, and the very thought he will have to look at San normally after this.

San can sense it, he can smell it in the air since the moment he sat down next to Yunho in the taxi, and it is making him deranged. He has felt arousal from the taller man before, but never anything this strong, and his senses are going into overdrive. A small voice at the back of his head keeps telling San it is because of him, how he looked and behaved, but he keeps disregarding it and as he needs to keep that feeling under control. Everything else seems to go down a rocky slope and fast anyway.

His hands shake as he locks his door, which he never did even on the most feral days he has had around the full moon. He can reach the bed, only half tripping over the pants he is trying to get out of. Just a week ago, San stopped himself from giving in to his urges to the point of physically nearing a breakdown, but today he is unable to do the same. All of his senses are heightened and on the very edge of his fragile sanity, barely holding on before plunging into the lustful nothingness.

San’s body shivers from how vividly he can still feel Yunho looking at no one else but him in the entire room, how he licks his lips looking at San, probably not even realizing it himself. The tall man’s aroma is so strong when San approaches him after the dancing, and when they sit close, it is still circulating in San’s lungs and getting him high. Even with the sweater covering him well for San’s eyes, nothing is hidden, and he can feel himself salivating. He is exactly that starving and desperate.  


What does not help his case is the low moan from across the hall, and it forces San to give in. He falls on his fours on the bed before resting his shoulders and head against the mattress. The vest he didn’t manage to take off falls from his back to his shoulders, his underwear at his ankles. Almost involuntarily, two of his own fingers push past his lips, red lip tint staining them. His other hand grabs a hold on his cock, and he moans shamelessly around his fingers. The desperation is at a new height as he drools around his digits, pulling them out with a breathy gasp before reaching behind himself and pushing them right into his hole, not that he needed the extra lubricant. 

It doesn’t take longer than under 5 minutes for him to come over his hand and bedsheets, Yunho’s name falling over his gasping lips in a muffled cry. Hearing an echo of the tall man’s orgasm makes San shake in another wave of pleasure before he completely collapses on the bed, gasping for air. How could he look at Yunho now? 

  
  


The following week is a bit tense as Yunho can’t really look at San properly even though he wants it so much. Even the Saturday shopping trip feels off as they keep an awkward, unnatural distance between them - something that hasn’t been there even when they just met. The tension in the air eases up only around Thursday when they don’t skip on the movie night. An utterly senseless comedy sends both of them in shouts of laughter, and they part ways at the bedroom door with slightly shy wishes of a good night. However, Friday arrives with the biggest surprise Yunho was not expecting at all.

He has not received another invitation to go out, and he is sure he wouldn’t be able to handle the impact of Friday San once more. Without question, he has settled on the sofa as always - console in hand and headphones around his neck. He is mentally ready to see San walk out the front door looking breathtaking. He has to tell himself not to stop him, even though he has an almost physical need to ask San not to go anywhere. 

San does emerge from his room soon, but instead of walking out fully dazzled up and ready to capture hearts, San comes out of his room in his slacks and hoodie, with a hood on. He shuffles to the sofa and stares at the still game screen while Yunho looks at him.

“Do you mind if I stay and watch? I don’t feel like going anywhere,” he says, and Yunho can feel his own eyes going even wider. San looks a bit lost, and he shuffles his bare feet on the floor awkwardly switching from looking at the screen to the sofa.

“Sure…” Yunho nods and follows with his eyes how San sits in his usual corner, pulling his legs under him and hugging the muted green pillow as always. He leans comfortably against the crevice created by the armrest and backrest of the sofa and puts his whole attention on the screen. His cheek softly rests against the pillow, squishing a little in the process, and Yunho has to take the incredibly hard action of looking at the screen instead.

Yunho puts on his headphones but moves one more to the back on San’s side in case he wants to ask or say something. It is a bit odd to start the usual banter with his friends, especially answering Mingi’s jabs for being ‘a single pile of sadness in extra-large,’ but as he hears San giggling quietly at the exchange, he loosens up. He goes into the rhythm soon enough, and it seems that San is pulled along as he leans more forward, watching the characters move on the screen.

At one point, San begins to cheer Yunho on and even more so point out ambushes on the side of the screen he seems to miss every time as if he could see far better than Yunho himself. He is sitting on the very edge of the sofa, holding onto the pillow tightly, and pointing at the screen. It comes to the point that Yunho’s friends jokingly accuse him of cheating and playing in tandem with someone, which both San and Yunho just laugh off. 

After the awkward last Friday, this is the most they have had fun, topping even the Thursday comedy. This might even be the most fun they have had ever, and no matter how cheesy it might sound, Yunho wouldn’t change this for anything. The way how high-pitched and full of excitement San’s voice is, how his eyes shine in the light from the screen, how concentrated he is, how bright his dimple blessed smile is when he looks at Yunho. Yes, he would not change this for anything else.

The clock moves forward unapologetically, and soon, there is no light coming in from the outside, and once more, only the kitchen counter lights give a hue of yellow into the darkness of the area. Already for a moment, Yunho has had to deal with his very persistent and very determined friends alone, and he assumes there is nothing to report. He is wrong though, as when he glances at San, he sees that the man has fallen asleep. The pillow has almost dropped out of his loose hold, and he is leaning against the back of the sofa, dangerously close to falling to the side. His lips are just slightly parted, the hood fallen off his head, and his long lashes are throwing shadows on his round cheeks.

“An angel,” Yunho whispers so quietly even his mates don’t pick up through the mic and ask him to repeat. 

“I think let’s call it a day. I’m kind of tired,” he swiftly replies, and even though there is some whining, he manages to disconnect from the server rather quickly. With hope, the sudden light change won’t wake San up he turns the TV off and faces an unexpected dilemma as he turns to the sleeping man. Does he leave him here or carry him to his room?

Yunho receives his answer the moment San almost falls over the armrest of the sofa, if not Yunho leaping forward and catching him. He breathes out quietly and steadies San for a moment, removes the pillow from his grasp, and as gently as he can scoops him up in his arms. His head rests against Yunho’s chest right below his chin, the soft black hair meeting his skin, and it is admittedly very distracting. As is everything about holding him this close. But Yunho has a mission.

He holds San closely against himself as he moves around the sofa in the room, lit only by the kitchen lights. There is a hope San has nothing Yunho could trip over on the floor of his room as he opens the door. As there is virtually no light there and he can barely make out the outline of the bed before his eyes adjust to it more, he slides his feet on the ground to make sure the path is clear. 

With a small grunt, he places San on the bed and lets out a sigh. The sleeping man whines in his sleep, and Yunho has probably never heard such precious sound ever before. He does contain his reaction well and instead pulls the blanket over San. What he does not control is his hand not only fixing the blanket on San’s shoulders but making its treacherous way to the top San’s head, gently patting his hair.

“What the hell are you doing!” Yunho hisses at himself and pulls his hands away. “Stop, stop, stop, stop,” he chants as he leaves the room in a rush and closes the door as quietly as he can, not even knowing that two eyes follow him to the very second he is out of view.

San lets out a breath he has been holding in since the moment Yunho picked him up as that is how long he has been awake and turns to his side. He grabs a hold on the blanket, pulling it together in a ball he can hug with his arms and legs before hiding his face in it. He can’t take this any longer, and he can’t deceive Yunho either. It is very painfully obvious the man has started to feel something deeper for San, and even though the latter feels the same and more, so ridiculously and wrongly more, Yunho has no idea what San is under this facade. It is time for San to come clean.

The next morning San is the one who gets up first. He makes a mug of coffee for Yunho and sits at the kitchen table waiting for him. He feels sick to his stomach, so any thought of food makes him gag, and he can barely breathe let alone consume anything. This is it. He is letting go of his dark and disturbing secret and with that probably losing Yunho forever. 

The taller man appears soon enough and greets San so cheerfully the latter has to bite his lower lip to hold back the very human form of expressing emotions - tears. This is probably the last time he sees Yunho as he will gather his things and leave as soon as he can. No one would want to stay with San. Even someone as wonderful and deeply good, the opposite of San’s core, like Yunho.

“Is something wrong?” Yunho asks as he sits at the table. His voice is deep and raspy; his cheeks flushed rosy pink and hair tousled. Just for a moment, San considers not saying a thing and continuing with the lie, but he knows Yunho doesn’t deserve it.

“Yunho…” San takes a deep breath and, for a second, shut his lips, squeezing them shut tightly. Everything inside of him is breaking and falling to pieces, disappearing into dust as Yunho looks at him so gently, with so much warmth in his eyes. He has to tell him. Even if by that, he will cause his own destruction. He most probably deserves it anyway.

“Yunho,” San starts again, “I want you to listen carefully and hear me out completely before saying anything,” he requests, and the human nods. San feels his lower lip quivering, but at least for once, he has to be honest.

“I…” his words seem to get stuck in his throat and trip over his lips, but he chases them out. “Yunho, I am a demon. I am an incubus.” 


	4. ~ IV ~

Yunho has to blink several times to make sure he is not dreaming. If he is truly awake, then he just heard the most ridiculous words leave San’s lips. Yet the man sitting across from him seems completely serious about what he just said. But that does not make Yunho any less confused.

“What?” is the only decent thing he can ask at this moment as he stares at the deflated, destroyed man. Never before has Yunho seen San like this as it is much worse than after the encounter with Seonghwa. This is definitely not a joke.

“I guess I have to show you,” San sighs and stands up from the chair. He steps more into the light in the living room - right on the line that divides the two spaces. “Just… don’t scream,” he actually pleads, with the saddest voice, his eyes glossy and nearly overflowing, lower lip quivering a bit. 

Yunho can just stare at the man before him, not being able to utter a single word. He can’t say a thing even when San sighs and, for some reason, unzips his hoodie jacket and places it on the sofa behind him. He breathes slowly, his chest rising and falling, and his eyes flutter shut, but Yunho is still speechless. Even as the transformation, he didn’t expect happens before his very eyes, he feels mute.

San’s hands change first - his fingers growing seemingly longer and more reminiscent of claws of an animal, deep purple, extremely fine scales appearing around the nails. The scales seem to slowly grow all over his body - almost wherever there is ink covering his flesh, the scales appear - all deep iridescent purple with a red shift, changing in the early morning light. They stretch along lines on his arms and his hips, over his collarbones and creep up the sides of his neck and frame his face right by the hairline.

The wings appear next, and Yunho swears he can hear a loud cracking sound as if bones are breaking before they break out from San’s back. They are large and leathery, the boning all in the same deep purple tone fading into the red at the end of each juncture. They are almost the size of San himself and could probably take up most of the living room when spread.

Meanwhile, San’s hair has grown down to his shoulders, and two twisted ram horns have made their way out from his head on the sides. The horns are pure black at the hair and then gradually go to purple and then to red at the very ends, twisting into a mesmerizing gradient of color. 

San finally lifts his face to look at Yunho. His pupils have shifted to hypnotizing red, his eyes now possessing even more power than before. Small fangs poke into his bottom lip as he looks at Yunho. His eyes are full of despair and disdain; it is almost as if he is disgusted with himself and can’t handle Yunho looking at him. But to Yunho, he is so far from disgusting.

“Beautiful,” Yunho breathes out quietly but loudly enough for San to hear it and look at him wide-eyed. To Yunho, he is so indescribably beautiful at this moment for so many reasons he knows well enough he can’t put in any appropriate words. The very feeling of knowing San found Yunho trustworthy enough to reveal such a deep part of himself speeds Yunho’s heart up. 

The demon, no, the man before Yunho seems to be at a loss from one single word Yunho has said. Yunho stands up from his seat, which scares him - someone, who has wings growing from his back - and he seems so fragile suddenly. All Yunho wants to do is to pull him close, to touch him in the purest possible way. As he takes the few steps towards San, he wonders, would his hands still feel as soft and gentle, would even with horns his head fit under Yunho’s chin for a proper hug, would the now changed skin feel cold to his touch. And the closer he gets, the more mesmerized he becomes.

Each of the dainty scales shifts with the light changing, and it is hard to tell if they are truly more purple or red. There is the same shine in his black hair and on the leathery part of his wings, and he looks like the most beautiful mirage before Yunho’s eye. Like a dream after hours of League of Legends playthrough and a character is visiting Yunho in his sleep, though not a single character is nearly as breathtaking.

Even as San tries to step back, Yunho is a bit faster and manages to catch San’s hands in his. They are a bit bigger, yet still not matching Yunho’s in size, and still as warm as ever. A bit funny how, even in this form, San’s hands are lovably small compared to Yunho's. Even the scaled skin seems soft though there is a clear difference in texture, and for a moment, Yunho just observes how these different hands fit in his but somehow do it perfectly.

“You look very beautiful like this,” Yunho says straight up. He keeps looking at San’s hands in his before meeting the two red, watery eyes staring back at him. “Maybe I am a bit too much of a game nerd, but you look very beautiful and very cool,” he adds with a smile, and San just shakes his head. His hands twitch as if he wants to pull them away, but he doesn’t.

“What are you even saying? Have you gone mad from the shock?” he murmurs and first looks at anything, but Yunho before their eyes meet again. “How can you say that about such an abominable monster? Do you understand what I am?”

Yunho is a bit taken back by the hurt yet aggressive tone of San’s voice but instead, of letting go he just holds his hands tighter. “I don’t think you are whatever you just called yourself and I have a very vague idea of ‘what you are’. But I know who you are. You are San who just can look very different sometimes,” he is somewhat surprised at how calm he is himself. He is holding hands with a creature very few or no one would recognize as San at this point but to him nothing more but the appearance has changed it is still the same man. It still feels like the same San as always is standing before him.

San finally pulls his hands away and takes one step back. “I am the most disgusting kind of hell filth you can imagine. A lowly scum that feeds on sex and pleasure like it is the finest gourmet meal one could imagine. And if I can’t get that, I just bask in the superficial adoration of anyone in my way to get my full. I am a repulsive, disgraceful abomination which desperately wants to be human… but will never fully be one,” San almost yells all of it out in one breath, gasping for air and breathing heavily as he finishes. Such intense hatred is coming from him and directed towards no one else but San himself.

“But… I might sound like an idiot, but you are human,” Yunho takes the step San has taken and moves closer again. “For all this time, you have been so human, San. That’s why this look is nothing to me,” Yunho tries to reason with the distressed man, his eyes shooting to the twitching wings on his back. Even though they are indoors, it feels like San could fly away and disappear any second.

“It is just a mask. A poorly put together disguise that breaks at one point. You can’t even fathom the filthy, degrading thoughts and urges that dwell in my mind. It can’t be regarded as human in any way,” he continues to slander himself with words Yunho understands just vaguely at times, but he is absolutely sure he does not agree with a single bad thing San is saying. He takes a breath and steps forward again, and this time, he does not grab for San’s hands but embraces the man.

“Yunho…” San breathes out, his breath scalding hot even through the t-shirt Yunho is wearing, his forehead pressed against the taller man’s shoulder. “Yunho… let go,” he pleads weakly, and his wings flutter again. “Let go,” he repeats, but his voice dissolves against Yunho’s chest. 

“No,” is the simple response Yunho can give. He has to think where to properly place his arms with the wings on San’s back, but they fit nicely around San’s shoulders. The shorter man’s head still nicely fits right under Yunho’s chin, and the horns aren’t bothersome at all. Each part of San is warm and inviting - just like when Yunho picked him up last night.

“I will let go only if you agree to sit down and calmly tell me more. I want to know more,” Yunho says calmly and as he lets the words ring in the morning air the reverse shift begins. The horns and wings disintegrate as if they were never there, all scales fade back to the usual smooth skin and fingers return to their regular a bit chubby form. In under a minute he has just San in his arms, actually, it has been just San all this time.

“Okay,” San nods, his forehead still against Yunho’s shoulder, and he has the urge to pat his hair, to quite boldly press a comforting kiss on the top of his head, but he knows better to overwhelm the man even more. And he had no right to do so even San trusts him enough to be this vulnerable.

He lets go of San unwillingly, but it is the best thing to do at this moment. With San’s eyes following him, he leans past him and grabs his jacket from the sofa and hands it to him. “I will make you some coffee too, alright?” he asks with a smile, and San simply nods, putting the jacket back on a bit clumsily, his hands getting stuck in the sleeves. He shuffles to the kitchen table and sits down, resting both of his feet on the edge of the chair, curling into a small, grey ball on top of it.

Yunho takes his time, letting San calm down a bit. He cuts up a few pears and peals an orange, just once in a while, looking back to make sure San is still there. When a small bowl is filled with fruits and the coffee has cooled down a bit, he turns to the table where, luckily, San is still curled in a ball on the chair. With a sigh, Yunho places the two items in his hands down and takes a seat. He doesn’t really care that his coffee is barely lukewarm and takes a sip of it, silently encouraging San to do the same. That works, and the latter lowers his feet to the floor and turns to the table, his hands reaching for his mug. He takes a barely-there sip, but it’s something.

“Is it easier for you if I ask questions, or you just want to tell what matters?” Yunho asks carefully, and continuing the encouraging behavior takes a piece of pear from the bowl. This San does not mimic yet, but he takes a braver sip from the mug. He looks so fragile, so deeply shattered it is crushing Yunho’s heart as there is very little he can do, but he will still try.

“You can ask,” San replies in a small voice. From the moment he sat down, he hasn’t looked at Yunho as if he is deeply ashamed of what he has shown to him.

“Okay. But you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” even if San doesn’t look at him, Yunho still smiles at him gently. This is a lot to process, and he feels like his own brain is frying up slowly, but the more he will know, the more controllable the heat probably will be.

“I assume Seonghwa too is what you are. As you said, you both came here together,” he starts with more of an observation than a question to ease the conversation in.

“Yes. He’s an incubus too,” San nods and finally reaches for a piece of orange, chewing it slowly. 

“And Hongjoong definitely knows,” Yunho adds, and San nods again. “Can I ask why you both left where you were living before?” he asks cautiously.

“The longer we existed, the harder it became to come in terms with our reality and what it promised to us. We couldn’t comprehend an eternity of doing all in our power to gain pleasure and human souls. We never saw the appeal in it, and when we saw a chance to escape - to abandon our demonic past, we did it,” San explains, and the way he speaks sounds so different from how he usually talks. There’s weight to his words and his voice Yunho can’t give a name to, but he likes listening to it.

“It is probably very hard to change the way you lived before this. I kind of get even more why Seonghwa leaving was so…” Yunho stops mid-sentence understanding he probably shouldn’t have brought it up now. “Sorry,” he lets out a small sigh, and this time, San shakes his head.

“It’s okay. You are right,” he replies. “It was a struggle for the first month even to get used to being in human form all the time and not bursting out into that monster. Controlling our urges was as difficult until we realized that we could survive on adoration people felt towards us. Then it got a bit easier,” he takes another sip of the coffee. He seems to become more alive and less grave as they continue to talk, and it's a relief.

“I just assume, but you went into some sort of celibacy?” Yunho is getting more and more interested in the conversation even if, for anyone else, it could be an odd topic. He truly wants to know more about this part of San, to fully understand him.

“Celibacy would mean abstaining from all pleasures, which we sadly can’t do for many reasons, but we have highly limited ourselves. Well, not Seonghwa anymore. He has Hongjoong, and that’s good,” San lets out a sigh and pops a piece of pear in his mouth. He starts to sound more like his daily self again, and even now, Yunho is not sure which one he preferred more as both have their charm.

“Is there anything essential I need to know to make it easier for you? Can I help in any way? Anything at all?” Yunho leans more onto the table, and San finally looks at him, his eyes wide.

“No,” he shakes his head and looks away quickly. “There isn’t anything you can help with,” Yunho can swear San’s cheeks have gone deep rosy pink, and that is quite adorable. And he was calling himself nasty names minutes ago? Unbelievable.

“But… aren’t you going to run away, though?” San asks and makes himself not to look away from Yunho. 

“Absolutely not!” the taller man is almost offended by such an idea. “Why would I do that? First of all, I am so honored and thankful you decided to share this with me. Second - what would happen to you if I do, huh? What if you would get in some sort of trouble? Who would help if you would live alone? I am amazed that you’ve been okay for so long, and it is actually very irresponsible for Seonghwa to leave you like this and…” Yunho begins to rant, meaning every single word he says, but San’s laugh interrupts him. It is truly a heavenly sound to hear after such a heavy beginning of the day.

“You really are still worried about me even after knowing what I am?” he asks with a smile, and his eyes once more have the whole night sky captured in them, and Yunho almost blurts out another ‘beautiful.’

“I will always be worried about you,” he responds simply, and the faded red in San’s cheeks goes up in saturation once more.

“You don’t have to. But thank you,” San smiles, and, regardless of how cliche it sounds, Yunho wants to protect this smile with everything he has. 

“Do you want to go shopping as always, or we can order a pizza later and watch a movie and just laugh this morning off,” Yunho offers, and the cutest thinking pout appears on San’s lips. For a moment Yunho is sure he was hallucinating earlier. But then again, that was an absolutely stunning hallucination, so he doesn’t mind.

“I think staying in is better. It is sometimes hard to remain stable for a while after doing through the change even once,” San explains, and Yunho has nothing to add. 

They finish the fruit and coffee and clean up the kitchen as they always do, and maybe it’s just Yunho, but San seems to keep an overly polite distance now. He doesn’t point it out and rather appreciates that San indeed didn’t run away. The dumbest comedy they haven’t watched yet is the choice of the day after they get out of their sleeping clothes. The pizza comes later as the second part of the same movie is found on a doggy online site, and everything seems as good as ever. At least for Saturday.

On Sunday Yunho doesn’t see San at all, his shift starting earlier than usual. He doesn’t see him on Monday morning either - just a pre-made mug of coffee waiting for him in the kitchen when he gets up. He assumes San has left earlier and just hopes it won’t become a habit and he will be still able to have small, calm morning moments with him. Those actually meant more to Yunho than he thought. He, however, still makes his way to the university, the thought of checking San’s room not crossing his mind.

  
  


Not a single ray of light can find its way into the dark abyss that San’s room. Since Sunday, he has been bound to his bed, with probably one of the most excruciating experiences of his existence. The full moon cycle begins, and his entire being - from the ends of his hair to the tips of his toes - craves nothing more but bodily pleasure in unsatisfiable amounts. And he can do whatever he wants, but he can’t bring this pleasure to himself.

Whenever he feels how Yunho's presence leaves the apartment, he lets painful cries pass his lips, searching for some sort of ease, yet nothing comes. The heavy feeling in his heart for no one else but his tall roommate makes it so far more difficult to live through than ever before. For a second, he even wishes Yunho would have screamed and run away, but that only brings him more pain, turning his cries into actual choked up sobs.

No, he wouldn’t have handled him leaving well. Not at all. But the anguish of having him so near, so truthful and caring, only destroys San even more. He lets out another vail into the darkness of his room and drifts to a restless sleep with Yunho’s name on his lips and his image before his eyes, knowing well enough his urges will wake him up soon enough.

  
  


For Yunho sitting down next to Hongjoong in the lecture hall feels a bit odd now. He knew all this time about this supernatural reality both of them are a part of but didn’t tell a single thing to Yunho. Not even a hint, not even a clue. Then again, it wasn’t his story to share, Yunho understands that, but he still would have liked a hint to feel less like a fool. He should have known San is too good to be just human, no matter how corny it might sound to someone.

“Hi,” he greets the red-haired man as he sits down and receives a greeting back. He fiddles in his seat before looking at Hongjoong again, who smiles at his phone, typing out a message rapidly. There is no question in his mind that Hongjoong is texting Seonghwa, which is kind of cute. Yunho has a ton of questions Hongjoong probably can answer, but he doesn’t really know how to start the conversation. Gladly, Hongjoong starts it first as he places his phone on the desk.

“So, how are you feeling after finding out you are living with an incubus for three months?” he asks so casually as if it is a very common topic. “He finally caved in and texted Seonghwa on Saturday about what happened.”

“Well,” Yunho ruffles the back of his hair. How does he actually feel? He never tried to put it in words before. “If you are asking if I am looking at San any differently or think of him differently, the answer is a strong no,” he pushes his lips together and goes to fiddle with the edge of his notebook. “He called himself so many nasty things in words I had never heard before but couldn’t and can’t agree at all. He looked so stunning I was more in awe than in shock,” he realizes he might be sharing a bit too much and coughs awkwardly before continuing. “I think it’s admirable and commendable he chose to change his entire being and that he has bravely gone through so much struggle,” he glances at Hongjoong, who has leaned his elbow on the desk, his chin resting on his hand as he looks at Yunho.

“Aha. Continue,” he encourages with an all-knowing smile on his lips. 

“It’s definitely hard for him, and there are a lot of things and people that could ruin his determination, but he said he has been holding on so well. I feel so incredibly honored to know this part of him, and I hope he feels freer around me now when he doesn’t have to hide anything,” Yunho actually continues, and the grin on Hongjoong’s face just grows.

“He has been an amazing roommate and a great friend and…” 

“And...” Hongjoong raises his eyebrows and tilts his head more to the side, waiting for Yunho to continue.

“And…” Yunho stops and looks at the empty seat before him, and as if his life would about to end, he has a row of flashbacks blast through his head, all featuring his roommate and so much more than that. “I love him…” he murmurs and looks at Hongjoong wide-eyed while the latter just smiles at him.

“I am an idiot,” Yunho lets out, resting his elbows on the desk and covering his face with his hands. “I should have told him. Saturday morning or the evening before that or at any point,” he keeps mumbling. “He was so convinced I would run away from him. What if he still thinks like that?” he looks at Hongjoong again. “I need to talk to him,” Yunho murmurs. “I need to talk to him, like, right now. But what if it's too much for him?” he is about to grab his phone or even more jumps to his feet but sits down again. “What if suddenly throwing such a confession at him makes it harder for him? He has been holding back from things so well…”

“First of all, I want to calm you down and say that San definitely feels very strongly about you too if he told and showed you who he is,” Hongjoon places his hand on Yunho’s wrist to calm him down. “But, maybe don’t do it today. Or tomorrow. Unless you have a solid plan on how to do it,” he suddenly speaks so seriously Yunho’s face must turn into one of absolute fear and deepest concern as Hongjoong changes his tone. 

“It’s nothing really bad. I just think San wouldn’t want you to see him like that, especially so soon after finding out his secret,” he attempts to explain but quite obviously only makes Yunho more worried, his eyebrow knitting together. “How about we skip the class?” he suggests, and the second Yunho nods as they both get up and make their way out of the lecture hall right before the professor walks in.

They end up in a cafe right across the university building, and Yunho rejects the idea of actual coffee and just waits at the table anxiously while Hongjoong gets his. His eyes don’t leave the shorter man while he sits down or while he replies to a message on his phone - his eyes both concerned and filled with love, so Yunho bets it’s a message from Seonghwa again.

“Tell me, why are these days off-limits? What he doesn’t want me to see?” Yunho is straightforward with his questions, and Hongjoong takes a sip from his take-away coffee before a deep inhale and a reply.

“Every month for three days before the three full moon days and three days after those, incubi can’t really control themselves. That isn’t even the right description,” he shakes his head and tries again. “It’s like they can’t keep their arousal under control. We’d say the level of horny is off the charts, but they can’t do anything about it,” he is usually so well spoken that seeing Hongjoong stumble with his words is quite shocking. He glances at his phone, and it is quite clear what he is telling refers to Seonghwa too.

“When I caught Seonghwa purely by accident… I lived through real heartbreak for the first time, and I never want to experience it again,” he trails off and glances at his phone quickly to make sure there are no new messages even though he looked at it 30 seconds ago. “When they go into this heat of a sort, they can’t get themselves off. In everyday life, they control their urges with their own help if needed, but for those six days every month, it doesn’t work,” it could sound like an odd topic, but Hongjoong is dead serious.

“Imagine the one time you have been the most painfully horny - hard-on and all,” he instructs, and Yunho’s head immediately goes to the party a bit more than a week ago. He nods, and then Hongjoong continues. “Not amplify it by 10,” he adds another instruction, and Yunho has to make a face at the theoretical discomfort as he nods once more. “And now imagine you can’t do anything about it for three days. You can try everything you want and could imagine, but you yourself can’t do a thing,” Hongjoong’s face is grave, but he continues.

“Your whole body hurts as if it’s breaking apart and trying to pull itself together at the same time. On top of the physical pain… you can’t loathe yourself more than at that very moment, and the demonic form keeps trying to break free,” Hongjoong’s phone vibrates, and he grabs it immediately. His concerned gaze is now on the screen as he quickly types a response and then turns back to Yunho.

“They detest themselves on a daily basis. Hating the very thing they are from the very core. These days… I have heard so many dark and disturbing things both of them have thought off to stop it,” Hongjoong shudders a bit. “The thing is that they can’t even stop themselves from trying to reach some sort of satisfaction and that is what they hate the most. They feel like animals, like monsters and very little can change their mind,” he sighs and downs his coffee in one go. 

“When I caught Seonghwa… I had to hold him for hours until he stopped crying from pain. I had to beg him to let me help. And today I know I will have to beg again even though he is telling me can’t take it anymore,” Hongjoong suddenly stands up and Yunho can just follow him with his eyes, mute from the amount of information raining over his head. “I know for a fact San doesn’t want for you to see him in that state. Ever. So if you are about to head home, be mindful of it, please,” he looks at Yunho and then sits down again but just on the edge of the chair.

“I didn’t know jack shit. I was about to lose my mind when I saw him like that - not knowing how to help and being rejected when I knew. He could barely say a thing… all the things I feared could happen. You are at an advantage so you better use it well,” he adds and stands up again. “I’m sorry I’m running off like this but I… I need to at least be next to him. It’s a responsibility you need to be ready for,” all Yunho can do is nod as he feels absolutely lost and even confused. All he knows at this point is that he has a lot to think about regarding San and he knows, he feels he needs to come up with something fast.

On his way home, a message from Hongjoong comes to his phone. It is a bit of simple advice to be very direct when he decides to talk to San. No off and about - but clear and sincere words backed up by actions. He needs to know Yunho means what he says and does to accept it.

“How could I be this dumb,” he sighs as he turns from the second floor and makes his way to third. He so clearly understands himself and how he feels, even after finding out the secret, the burden San has to carry. Perhaps, Yunho was too busy articulating his own thoughts and feelings he missed San’s and the chance to make the man feel even more at ease.

He stops in front of the apartment door and thinks for a second on what Hongjoong said. If San really is going through the pre-full moon symptoms he is not expecting Yunho home, nor he probably would want him there now. But Yunho’s heart beats fast in his chest and he can’t just stay behind the door for the hour he still would need to be out before he would usually step by to change for work. He inhales deeply and unlocks the door as quietly as he can.

The main room is empty and quiet and he does his utmost best to keep it the same way. He closes the door quietly and locks it in the same manner. As if any movement he makes could betray him, he leaves the potentially loud backpack on the sofa along with his jacket. As he places the said article of clothing down he hears a muted whimper from the hallway and his head turns the direction it came from immediately. 

As quietly he makes his way across the living room and the few needed steps down the hallway. The door to San’s room is partially open and reveals the view to his bed perfectly. That freezes Yunho in his tracks and he remains half a step from where he could be seen through the door gap. His eyes are locked on the view before him and he feels like a pervert by watching, but how the scene develops and the reasoning behind it makes him feel pity and almost sadness.

The room is illuminated only by the light from the split open door but it is enough to see. San is laying on his bed, completely naked. It is an unnecessary observation but every little thing about him is absolutely perfect. Each line of his body, each curve of muscles, each millimeter of his skin - either clear or marked with ink - seem to be more accentuated than ever. He’s glistening with sweat, his bangs damp and stuck to his forehead. His mouth is open in small whines and whimpers, neck graciously arching from the bed, his tongue swiping over his lips, his eyes shut and long eyelashes just barely brushing against his cheeks. Beautiful.

In the most sinfully hypnotic way, San’s hand is working on his fully hard cock. His hips move up from the bed as he tries to amplify the friction - feet trying to rest on the bed to give some leverage but failing to stay in one spot. He seems to be completely exhausted, his body no longer listening to him. By the worn-out state of the man, he has been busy for quite a while. 

His free hand goes to his mouth and he eagerly sucks on three fingers, stimulating himself even more, before moving them out of his mouth with the most undignified whine. The slicked fingers move to his chest, teasing and twisting his nipples as he thrusts into his hand more violently.

“Please, please…” he whimpers breathlessly. “Just once… just once,” he pleads, breathing heavily, his breath hot enough to appear in the dim light of the room.

Yunho knows he is a creep by watching, but he can’t look away. He is hypnotized and stuck to the place he is standing by some unknown power. His throat has gone dry and at the same time, he can’t stop the feeling of drool leaking from his mouth. Nothing he has ever seen can compare to the view behind the half-shut door and very little could probably top it in the future, or so he thinks now.

“Please…” San moans one last time before his whole body convulses and it is almost as if Yunho anticipates for the man to climax as much as San himself does. But nothing happens. For the longest seconds, there isn’t a single sound in the whole apartment before San finally exhales.

“Dam it,” his voice breaks as his hand drops from his still hard dick. “Fucking damn it!” he yells out before covering his face with his hands. His body is shaking, breathing labored and Yunho is at an absolute loss on what to do. From the most sensual scene and dirtiest fantasies coming to life, it has turned into a tragedy before his eyes with such deep desperation he can feel it more than the lust before.

“Disgusting piece of shit,” San pushes past his lips, his voice unstable and barely even there as he rolls to his side, curling into a ball. “Fucking abomination,” he continues murmuring. His body is still shaking, muscles twitching, and he grabs a pillow, hugging it tightly. His back as if bubbles and the boning of the wings seem to poke out. Scales appear and disappear in the place of the ink fading in and out. “And I even dared to think of him again. Loathsome piece of garbage,” he hiccups, and as the final word leaves his lips, it is evident he has started crying. No, crying doesn’t even cover it. He’s sobbing, wailing almost hysterically, hiding his face in the pillow.

Even muffled by the cries and the pillow, Yunho can hear him repeating ‘disgusting’ and ‘nasty’ over and over again along with other definitely not positive words. The harder he cries, the more he repeats those words the more Yunho feels his heart shattering. He covers his own mouth with his hand as his vision gets blurrier and blurrier. San is feeling incredible physical and emotional pain at this very moment. To the extent it is practically impossible to put it into words. His whole body aches for a release he can’t get himself while his soul like it’s disintegrating due to his demonic essence. And Yunho is helpless.

All Yunho wishes he could do right now is to rush in. To be as close to San as Hongjoong is to Seonghwa, probably right now. To simply hold San close and tell him how wonderful he is - far more wonderful than many humans Yunho knows. To kiss the man so deeply until he could take at least a bit of the pain he is feeling away. To give his own body to whatever San needs - as long as he wouldn’t feel like this anymore. But he can’t. Because he would scare the man away - he would be the one to scare San away, not the other way around.

San’s sobs turn more pained. He is coughing and choking on air before sitting up, and the pillow he is holding flying against the nearest wall. He hides his face in his hands again and murmurs something though his hands and still present tears. Nothing can be understood, but Yunho can swear he hears his name, and he has to physically hold himself back from barging into the room. He fists his shirt above his rapidly beating heart and presses his mouth shut more tightly.

Barely holding onto his own feet, he stumbles back to the living room. While his eyes still see through the rising cloud of emotions, he grabs his keys and makes the possibly biggest noise as he unlocks the door. “I’m home!” he calls out before his voice fails him and almost slams the door shut, making a ruckus while locking it again. He hears a bedroom door closing with a bang and lets out a shaky breath.

Yunho stumbles back to the hallway and as he thought the door to San’s room is closed. He turns to his own and makes his way in, closing it tightly. His legs give out the moment he is in the room and he slides down to the floor, his back against the said door. He feels how tears start rolling over his own cheeks and he doesn’t even try to hold them back. Never in his life has he felt this useless.

The very thought of San right across the hallway being completely broken destroys Yunho from the inside. It’s just a few steps. San is right there. But Yunho needs a plan. Something that will definitely work, something San won’t be able to deny or disregard. He needs a plan, and he has to create it by tomorrow as he will not let San suffer alone anymore.


	5. ~ V ~

A chance to think of something comes on a magic whim. To Yunho’s surprise, he sees San leaving for university the next morning with his jacket and backpack, saying a quick goodbye for the barely awoken man. He blinks a few times before he realizes this might be his one and only chance to take action, to show initiative, and what he truly feels with not just words.

Suddenly, Yunho is full of energy as he is not entirely sure how much time he has before San returns. He speeds walks to the kitchen, a ready-made mug of coffee and a chocolate bar next to waiting for him. There is a sting in his chest, and he can’t describe it any other way but a sting of joy. He feels how his face blooms into the brightest smile just by looking at the very habitual coffee left for him. The breakfast he completes with fruits and quickly put together a sandwich before rushing on.   


Never before has he washed the dishes so fast, but he needs to fit in the unknown time limit. San won’t last long in the classes even if he tries, that is a fact. Yunho speed walks to the bathroom and makes his way out of it - showered and with brushed teeth - in record time and straight to his own room. There he finally stops to breathe. The plan he has formed in his head is insane, and in any other situation, he would feel extremely uncomfortable to even think of doing this, but this case is an exception.

The outfit doesn’t matter, so he just throws on grey slacks and a sunflower yellow hoodie that is a bit too long for him. He’s panicking a bit on what else he should do, but he opts for not going over the top. It is the best option to be as simply him as possible at this point. Nothing will show his sincerity more. Just to be safe, he grabs his phone and makes his way across the hallway straight to San’s room. It feels a bit invasive, but he takes a deep breath and walks in.

The room is still dark, and the air is a bit heavy, so Yunho allows himself to open half of the curtains and the window too, to air the room out. The light of a cloudy day allows him to see more of the room - the bed with tousled blankets and two scattered pillows, a vanity table with make-up and rows upon rows of various accessories hanging on racks next to it. There’s a shelf with a few books, a lonely polaroid of San and Seonghwa resting against them. A chair next to the vanity is drowning in clothes, even if there is a wardrobe almost next to it. Other than that, it is pretty neat.

Yunho sits down on the edge of the bed and takes a deep breath, exhaling slowly. If he stands his ground, San won’t be able to kick him out, and they will be forced to have a proper talk. Right? Just to be sure, he takes his phone from the pocket of his hoodie and decides to text Hongjoong. ‘Hey. I am about to talk to San today, as soon as he comes back from uni. Any more tips?’ he sends the message and looks out the window at the cloudy sky before the phone vibrates in his hands.

‘Hongjoong is sleeping. This is Seonghwa. The more of your scent San will feel, the smaller the chance he will argue against you, or he will at least give in sooner,” the response comes from a surprising and not surprising source at the same time.

‘How do I get that to work?’ Yunho types quickly and gets up from the bed, staring at the screen until a new message pops up. 

‘Your scent comes from your skin. The more of it will be exposed, the better. Good luck!’ the words on the screen confuse Yunho for a moment, and he has to push his lips together in a tight, thoughtful line. He is fighting with his inner gentleman on how far it is okay to go, but deep down, he knows he needs a way to keep San from running away. Even if, for a moment, it is using his weakness against him.   


He places the phone on the windowsill, closes the said window, and walks to the chair that holds half of San’s wardrobe. With a deep breath he takes off his hoodie and slacks, adding them to the pile, and as soon as he does, he can hear the front door opening. Quickly, he jumps in the bed and pulls the blanket around himself. He has to keep his own focus clear because everything around suddenly and intensly smells like San and even if he just human it still makes his head spin for a moment.  


There he is. Sitting in the middle of San’s bed only in his underwear with a blanket loosely over his shoulders when San walks and stops in the doorway staring right at him, his nose twitches instantly. They both look at each other quietly, and Yunho can see a thousand emotions running through San’s head as he looks at Yunho. There is uncertainty written all over his features but his nose keeps twitching, and Yunho is pretty sure Seonghwa’s advice is working even if he is currently under a blanket.

“What… What are you doing?” San finally speaks as he slowly places his backpack on the floor. As suspected, his plan of trying to attend lectures has ended with San coming home early. He looks almost like a confused child - a black knitted sweater that would be baggy even on Yunho, reaching his knees and way past his hands as they loosely fall by his sides. His hair is not styled - just falling freely over his forehead and a bit in his eyes. Only the very edge of the silver chain he has attached to his ripped black jeans can be seen as the sweater reaches almost to his knees. There are no necklaces, and he looks so small and lost, and Yunho feels the same itch in his chest to hold him as close as he can - the same itch he has been trying to control for all this time.

“I am finally taking the initiative,” Yunho replies and straightens up a bit, which makes San look away as the blanket opens up more. He fixes the sheet around his shoulders and hopes San will look at him and not run away.

“What are you even talking about…” San murmurs and Yunho can swear his lower lip quivers a bit. If only he would take a few steps closer, he could take his hand and make sure he doesn’t leave.

“I talked with Hongjoong,” he starts, and San instantly looks at him. “I know… what has been happening around this time every month,” Yunho continues and a red hue colors San’s cheeks as he lets his eyes wander around again. “So this time… I have to do something,” he gets San’s attention fully on him in a second as his words seem to shock the man.

“You are talking absolute nonsense!” San shakes his head, and he almost looks angry or upset but also so very confused. “There is nothing you can do anyway,” he adds, and Yunho feels that the anger is not directed at Yunho but San himself, which is so incredibly wrong.

“There are a lot of things I could do, and you know that,” Yunho objects, perhaps coming off a bit too cheeky for the occasion, but San just shakes his head.

“No,” his voice shakes and he actually turns away from Yunho, facing the half-open door. “You… You really mean a lot to me, Yunho and… this thing I am… it can ruin the only truly good thing I have had for such a long time. It is absolutely out of the question or even consideration,” his voice trembles, and at the sound alone makes Yunho’s heart shatter again.

“But what if you mean a lot… too much to me too?” Yunho scoots closer to the edge of the bed. “San… what if I…” Yunho keeps stumbling over the thoughts that prevent him from forming words and finding the right way to say what he feels, what has been the thing on his mind clearly only since yesterday. “What if I love you, San?” 

There is a sharp inhale from San and his hands visibly ball into fists in the long sleeves of his sweater. “Don’t say that,” he whispers and shakes his head.

“Why shouldn’t I?” Yunho is at the very edge of the bed, the blanket dangerously close to falling off his shoulders.

“Because what do I say to that?” San turns back, his eyes watery and on the brim of overflowing once more. He has seen this look on San’s features before but never so intensly, apart from Saturday. “What do I say, Yunho?”

“Say what you feel,” Yunho has to grab onto the blanket to hold himself in place as all he wants to do now is to jump forward and hold San. But he needs to let San make the last step between them. He needs to let him understand that it is okay and that Yunho is not running away or disappearing, that he is here to stay.

“I have no right to express what I feel or to dare to feel what I do,” San shakes his head again. “You know what I am…”

“No. I know who you are, and I know you have earned your right to feel whatever you want.” Yunho tries to convince the man before him, who is now holding onto the edge of his sleeves in the most endearing way.

“I am a monster driven forward only by one thing. I swear you can’t imagine what has been going in my head involving you. What repulsive fantasies I have had,” San continues to down talk himself, and Yunho can’t take it. He moves forward to the point the rest his hands on the edge of the bed, the blanket falling off of him as he stares right at San.

“And you can’t imagine what I have been thinking either! If anything, what you are talking about is one of the most human behaviors someone can have - to crave for someone they love with every fiber of their being,” either Yunho’s speech or his exposed body has caught San’s undivided attention, and Yunho continues as passionately. 

“I am a near-naked man in your bed, on all fours, which already shows what a human can think of. Since week one, I haven’t been able to fully take in how beautiful and wonderful you are. I have very shamelessly and probably loudly pleasured myself while thinking of you. To contrast that, I want nothing more but to hold you close and…” he stops for a second, feeling his own emotions climbing higher from his chest to his eyes. “And to make sure you are not hurting.”

Yunho inhales and sits back on the bed, still looking at San, who is looking back at him with those big, shining eyes. “Yesterday…” Yunho begins, and he can see, and feel San’s expressive features changing. “I saw you yesterday. Before I announced loudly of returning home,” he admits, and San is so ashamed he looks away. “I wasn’t expecting to, and I wish I could say I walked away faster than I did… but I saw quite a lot. And that is probably the most disgustingly human thing I have ever done.” He waits for any sort of reaction, but there is none so he continues.

“I should probably start with apologizing as I know I wasn’t supposed to see any of that. Maybe I am the nasty one from the two of us as all humans are that - we just don’t register on a daily basis. And even what I feel gives me no right to invade your privacy like that… but here I am still doing it but differently,” he sighs and almost wishes San would say something, anything, but he remains quiet.

“Bottom line - this is my very crazy, invasive plan where actions should speak as loud as words or louder. I don’t want you to suffer the way you do anymore. I don’t want you to go through it alone. So I am here - with all my cards on the table,” he finishes his rant and looks at San, who has turned his face away from Yunho. He’s biting his lower lip, his eyebrows furrowed and eyes still glossy, hands holding firmly onto the edge of his sleeves.

San sways a little before letting out a long, shaky breath, turning to Yunho and launching forward. He stumbles a bit over his own feet and falls right into Yunho’s arms, already waiting for him as the latter moves forward the second San does. They both fall backward onto the mattress, but Yunho can swear this is the best he has ever felt even if his back stings for a second from falling onto the uneven blanket.

His arms wrap around San's lighty shaking frame as tightly as he can, holding him close, and his weight in Yunho’s embrace makes the latter feel incredibly complete. This is it. This is the feeling that feels exactly right. Hundred times better than when he carried San to bed and ten times better than hugging him a few days back to comfort him. He feels San’s heavy breathing against his neck, and he is clinging onto Yunho’s middle with all his might, the knitting of the sweater rough against Yunho's skin. At this moment, it feels like it can’t get any better. But it does. 

San pulls away just a bit, his eyes threatening to overflow any second, and as they meet Yunho’s, he can’t stop himself and presses his lips against San’s. It is just a simple, soft press of the lips, but a shiver runs through both of them and at the very second. They pull back to lock their eyes again as if confirming if it is okay to do more before moving closer again. The kisses they share are gentle and careful, yet somewhat very deeply meaningful as their lips explore each other and get used to shape, taste, and their own rhythm.

When San moves away Yunho almost panics as he fears he could run away, but as the smaller man begins to struggle with his large sweater Yunho exhales and helps him. It is just a little bit of a struggle until San’s sweater and jeans are off too, and their equally bare bodies melt together in the same tight embrace. They continue just holding each other and sharing gentle kisses, but what worries Yunho is that San hasn’t stopped shaking since he hugged him.

“Is everything okay?” he moves one of his hands to San’s head, gently patting his hair while holding him as close as he can with the other.

“Yes,” San nods and smiles faintly before hiding his face against the curve of Yunho’s neck. “Yes, it is… I just need to get used to … so much of you. Your scent, your skin… it’s a bit overwhelming. I also feel another wave of heat coming on,” his voice shakes a bit, and he tries as much as he can to hide against Yunho.

“How can I help with that?” Yunho presses his lips against the top of San’s head and once more has both of his arms tightly around him.

“You can’t. Those waves, from which one you saw yesterday, is better just to wait out when possible. If you would do anything I could change and I don’t want that,” San’s breath already feels hotter against Yunho’s skin, so what can only be described as a breakdown is close.

“I don’t mind if you have to shift,” Yunho tries to encourage, but the man in his arms shakes his head.

“If I can be with you… I want to be as human as I can,” San almost whispers, and Yunho doesn’t question him. He just holds him close and prepares to wait out along with him. When the heat wave comes, it hits San mercilessly, and Yunho feels like his presence probably has made it worse but also somehow makes it better.

San’s body shakes violently, and Yunho can hear his painful whimpers, feel his tears hitting his chest. The same shift from tattooed skin to scales Yunho saw before happens at least once a minute in random places, and each time the skin that seemingly covers the snake-like scales flakes off into thin air and then grows back. San’s back is bubbling and moving around even if he himself is as still as he can be. Parts of his wings keep trying to break free, and Yunho can hear bones cracking so clearly it makes him shiver too. Yet instead of letting go, which would be a very human reaction, he holds onto San as firmly as he can. 

He gently rubs San’s shoulders and rests his cheek against the top of the man’s head even when he feels San’s in and out shifting horns poking his skin. Yunho’s own eyes swell up with tears as he hears and feels the turmoil San is going through, but he has to hold his own waterworks back as that would not help one bit. To pull a blanket over them, he lets go with one hand just for a second but then returns it where it was. He is not going to let go of San, no matter what. Even if he has to go through flames of hell, he will not let go. Ever.

Yunho isn’t tracking time, but the day has shifted well into the middle of it according to the clouds finally parting and letting a bit of the sun in when San’s body finally calms down. Yet even after it has all ended, they remain calmly tangled together. Yunho’s fingers gently thread through San’s hair and not the random yet intricate patterns he is drawing on Yunho’s chest one would think he is asleep.

“Thank you,” San whispers after what seems hours of silence. “I need to thank you for a lot of things, to be honest,” he continues and finally looks up at Yunho who looks at him in return. His eyes are a bit red, and there are trails of tears on his rosy cheeks, but Yunho can just think of how wonderfully beautiful he is - with tousled hair and soft pout.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything,” he smiles and moves his hands to gently cup San’s cheeks, wiping the remains of the tears away with his thumbs. San’s face looks so small and squishy in Yunho’s big hands he knows he starts smiling like the biggest fool before giving the rounded nose a quick kiss.

San moves unexpectedly but slowly. He pushes up from Yunho’s chest and out of his hands. The blanket falls off his shoulders, revealing his tattoed, muscular stature to the early afternoon light sneaking in between the half-open window. He shifts around a bit until he is straddling Yunho’s lap, his ass just barely under the taller man’s crotch resting on his thighs instead. His hands settle on Yunho’s chest first before making their way up to his shoulders and then to Yunho’s cheeks. This is a touch the latter recognizes, and he smiles at the familiar feeling before pressing a kiss on the base of San’s palm.

“I don’t want to be very direct, but I have no idea when the next wave will come,” San speaks quietly and softly, his hands running through Yunho’s hair soothingly. “And I wish I could put this in any other way and somehow reject the need but…” he inhales and exhales slowly. “I don’t know how hard I will crash if… I can’t get off,” San admits, and his cheeks color a deeper shade of red. An incubus is blushing right in front of Yunho’s eyes while admitting he needs a release.

“Well, that was a very round and about way to get to it actually,” Yunho smiles, and his hands settle on San’s thighs right where his boxers stop. He could be a bit crazy at this point, but he can swear that the higher up and closer to San’s crotch his fingers get the hotter his skin gets. “But…” he continues even though he is distracted by the inviting and intriguing temperature change. “I am all for whatever you would want.”

“That is a hazardous thing to say to something… someone like me,” San fixes the way he refers to himself and Yunho has to smile once more.

“I trust your expertise,” he grins, and there is a light slap on his shoulder. He doesn’t have a chance to react to the pout on San’s lips as the latter fully stands up on the bed. San is not tall enough to hit the ceiling, but at this point, he towers over Yunho, and for a second, the predatory look from the dance floor makes its way to his face. He grins down at the wide eyed man and licks is lips slowly.  


Almost teasingly, he pulls his underwear down, and Yunho can just stare, once more embracing how everything about the man before him is beautiful. With suddenly found grace, not a hint of a bit clumsy every day San left in sight, he gets the last piece of clothing off him completely before returning to Yunho’s lap. He doesn’t really take his time but moves rather swiftly to have Yunho fully naked before him as well, and just for a second, Yunho feels like a prey about to be devoured, and he actually loves the tingling feeling it sets in the pit of his stomach.

Now, both of them being naked, San moves even closer to Yunho’s cock and with no restraints, letting their bodies rub tightly together, leans in for a kiss. Compared to before, it is a bit faster, deeper, and excites one a lot more. His hands settle on Yunho’s cheeks again while Yunho has his on San’s hip. He has them there for solid few minutes before turning a corner and landing on the man’s ass. He can’t seem to hold them just there for long as San begins to gently rock against him, moving their bodies into a rhythm as Yunho responds instantly. He plants his feet flat onto the mattress, takes full hold of San’s ass (which fits in his hands absolutely divinely), and returns the same barely-there movement.

The kiss, which has gained even more force, and the steady, rhythmic movement slowly makes them gasp for air, and it is obviously and painfully not enough. San is the one who dares to move up and back a little. His tongue swipes over his glistening, kiss-swollen lips and rests at the very inner edge of his bottom lip as his eyes move down to Yunho’s dick. “Yum,” he whispers and Yunho is not hallucinating when he sees San drooling a bit. “A treat to fully enjoy another time,” he murmurs and wraps his hand around the erect flesh, stroking it slowly, swallowing loudly as he stares at his hand moving. 

“I really wish I could prolong this experience for both of us. However, I am sure I won’t be able to last for long on a day like this. Next week though,” he smirks and locks his eyes with Yunho’s who has been staring at San this whole time in complete awe. This San is nothing like the Friday San and nothing like San on any other day of the week. It is a completely new side of him, and Yunho loves every bit of it. Maybe he is a bit of a pervert.  


“What a shame,” Yunho breathes out, and San tilts his head to the side, looking at the man at his full disposal with an amused yet devilish expression. “I will keep you to your word next week then,” Yunho adds, and a shaky breath follows his words as San’s grip on his dick tightens just the right amount. 

“Can’t wait,” he smiles and moves forward, kissing Yunho once more before letting go of his manhood and rising to his knees. San moves up the man’s lap until he is right above the member he was just working on and licks his lips again. “Breath,” he almost teases, and for a second, Yunho has no clue what it is about to happen until San grabs his cock again, positions it against his entrance, and sinks down on it slowly.

“Holy fuck, San!” Yunho almost chokes as the words naturally spill from his lips. “I think you just skipped a step!” he actually has to catch his breath from both shock and sensation. He can swear he has never felt such an inviting but almost scalding head and perfectly fitting tightness to envelop him. And he has definitely never felt this surprised by it.

“I have to remind you,” San’s playful demeanor falls for a second, his eyes almost sad and disgusted once more, “that I am made for this. To be a perfect partner whenever needed or wanted,” he says almost with repulse in his voice, and Yunho wishes the sensation that is taking over him wouldn’t make him speechless. But San’s teasing self returns quickly.

“That is a conversation for another time. For now - enjoy,” San's eyes are now less piercing, his voice still sultry, and Yunho has no other choice but to go with it at this point, holding on to San’s hips and thighs.

San’s hands settle on Yunho’s thighs, his body graciously leaning back, letting the man underneath him marvel at the perfection before his eyes. From every line and crevice to each patch of the skin marked with ink, to the hard and heavy cock resting against his stomach under his belly button - utter perfection. His lips are still puffy and parted in even breaths, eyes heavy-lidded, hair tousled, and he is absolutely the definition of sinful in the best way possible.   


Slowly, setting in a rhythm, he begins to move. It starts with fluid, easy movements which remind of San dancing so much Yunho shivers, and that makes the man riding him grin in satisfaction. He begins to move faster with bigger amplitude, now raising his hips up and letting out small, pleased grunts.

“Fuck… it has been so long,” he hums and bites on his lower lip as he moves his body forward and now holds onto Yunho’s torso. He moves higher and faster, the obscene sound of skin slapping against skin filling the air of the room as Yunho responds and snaps his hips up. The sun keeps appearing and disappearing from behind the clouds playing light and shadow games and making the scene before Yunho even more mesmerizing. Even more so when he can see San losing his playfulness and now entirely just chasing for a release. Yunho being right there with him not knowing one bit for how much longer he can keep up either.

“This feels so good, San,” he encourages through heavy breathes. His hands slide to the man’s behind, giving him a literal hand in moving up and down, spreading his cheeks a bit. “So damn good, San,” he emphasizes, and the man above him just grunts in return. “I already can’t wait for next week when we will be able to have more fun. Just think of what we will be able to do with no restraints,” Yunho continues, not really dirty talk, not really just praises. “What do you think?” he is the one who grins now as San is more in shambles than ever before, his expressive face showing so many beautiful emotions and all of them positive.  


Feeling how he himself is probably closer to a climax than he would want Yunho takes hold of San’s dick, the man moaning out loud for the first time. It is such a beautiful sound Yunho doesn’t even fully take in how well his hand fits around the length before working up and down it. San’s body shivers once more, but not like before - now he shivers from pleasure coursing through him. 

“Yunho… Can’t… Different…” San can’t put together a real sentence, his tongue almost hanging out of his mouth making him drool as he moans and whimpers, both trying to still move on Yunho’s lap and thrust into his hand. The man who was so in control earlier is gone completely, revealing the most beautifully wanton scene for Yunho. His skin is glistening, his chest moving in labored breaths, muscles shaking and contracting as he tries to control his movements.

“Of course,” Yunho replies even though he just barely gets what San means with his own pleasure clouded mind. He lets go of San, and the latter lifts his body high enough to have Yunho slip out of him. Almost with no energy, he flops to the side away from Yunho’s body, panting heavily, his eyes so full of emotion and pleading, asking to be filled again, Yunho curses under his breath before getting on his knees.

With one movement, he spreads San’s legs and turns him on his back. He’s between his legs in a second, lifting San up just a bit by under his knees. One more second later, he is pushing back into the tight, wet, and hot cavern, his eyes locked on the movement which he missed out before. “Fuck,” he mutters under his breath as he begins to thrust in and out of San. He can feel the man’s body shivering and contracting and his response with the same intense shiver as well. 

Once more, the speed grows, obscene sounds filling the heavy air. Yunho’s hand finds San’s cock again, and this time, it is a run, a sprint to the very end. It is a blur of sounds and mind-blowing visuals - they way San arches from the bed, gripping on the sheets and Yunho’s arm until leaving marks on the latter. His body tightens around Yunho, and the latter can’t even breathe in properly as probably the most intense orgasm in a while hits him straight across the head.

At any other time, that would be it, but neither of them feels complete satisfaction yet. San slowly sits up, shivering just slightly but because of all the right reasons. He reaches for Yunho, their lips meeting in a deep, breathy, and needy kiss. “More?” San whispers against Yunho’s lips, resting their foreheads together. To such question, Yunho can just nod. It is almost a trance-like blur, but at the same time, all of his senses are heightened, and he feels, sees, and hears San better than ever before.

The texture of his skin under his touch, the pleased shivers running through him with each thrust Yunho makes. San’s voice rings in Yunho’s ears like a thousand-year-old enchantment even when it is nothing more but Yunho's name and pleads for more falling from those perfect lips. He can feel how San's body almost vibrates from pleasure or how later on he spreads his leg just ever so slightly to give more access, and it is so inviting, so mesmerizing. From having San’s tattooed back to his admiration - San’s chest pressed against the bed, half of his means swallowed by the bedding, -to his back pressed against Yunho’s chest as he takes control and bounces in the larger man’s lap. It is all coming with a feeling of perfect satisfaction, their bodies, and even moans finding a common rhythm.

Round two comes to an end just like round one, and for a minute, there is only heavy breathing echoing into the room. Yunho lets San to slowly fall back on the mattress, breathing heavily. He has to take a moment even to grasp what has happened himself sitting back on his feet for a few seconds. His eyes meet San’s and they both smile at the same time. Yunho crawls forward and kisses his tired lover before lying down on the bed on his side next to him. San turns more towards him too, still breathing heavily but slowly calming down.

“Warning, I will pass out for a bit now. I haven’t had sex for a very, very, very long time, so it seems I can’t handle it right away. Especially if it’s this good. It’s like having the best and biggest meal after starving,” San smiles a very tired smile, his eyes already slowly shutting. Yunho must be odd, but San has never looked more stunning and happier at the same time. But on the other hand it makes sense as he is not in pain, he is content and finallly gettin what he truly deserves - love.  


“Okay, I will be here when you wake up,” Yunho nods and scoots a bit closer to San to give him a soft kiss right before, as warned, he falls into a deep sleep. Gently, while catching his breath, Yunho collects the sleeping man in his arms and settles for a nap too, as nothing at this moment is more important than having San in his arms, as close as possible and for as long as possible.

  
  


San wakes up at a time he can’t really tell, but it is already dark outside. He is in his bed, his head on the pillow and blanket covering him tightly, but it is very clear something is missing and something essential at that. “Yunho,” he lets out in a small, whiny voice, and a figure appears before his still half-asleep eyes.

“Hey,” Yunho’s hand gently pats his head as the man squats next to the bed. “You can continue sleeping,” he whispers not to wake San up even more. His voice deep and smooth, like always when he has just woken up. It's like honey for San's ears.  


“Where are you going?” San whines, and he can see the man before him smile. Oh, how much he loves that smile and how happy it makes him. He can finally admit it.  


“You had your full earlier, but I guess I need some actual food, or else we will have to listen to my stomach rumbling,” he moves forward and places a kiss on San’s forehead. “I will quickly eat something and be right back, okay?” he keeps running his fingers through San’s hair, and it’s such a calming motion San can just nod. It feels warm and nice under the blanket, and he has Yunho’s scent all around him, as well as actually the wonderful feeling of being full for the first time in ages.

Yunho fixes the blanket around San’s shoulders a bit more before standing up and quietly exiting the room. The curtain has been closed, and now, when the previously agape door is shut too, the room is completely dark. For a moment, it is almost nice to sleep like this - feeling very content and warm, but it doesn’t last for long. Soon enough, just the fading scent of Yunho on the sheets does not satisfy San anymore, and even though it has been just 10 minutes, he doesn’t want to wait. He needs the tall man closer, now when he can actually get it.

San stumbles out of bed and drags his feet to the chair covered in clothes, a yellow piece of clothing which is definitely not his standing out even in the dark. He doesn’t think twice before pulling over his head, the hood staying on, sleeves too long, the hoodie itself reaching past the middle of his thighs. In a still very sleepy state, he waddles out of the room and makes his way to the kitchen. The lights are a bit too bright, but he keeps his eyes open only until he reaches the man at the counter.

San wraps his arms around Yunho’s bare back from behind and rests his head against his shoulder. He inhales the scent he can’t describe any other way than home, safety, and warmth and snuggles closer. A deep chuckle shakes up his chosen pillow, and he whines quietly, the whine growing in strength when Yunho moves. Yet when San can rest his head against the taller man’s chest instead, hearing his steady heartbeat and feel Yunho’s arms wrap around him, he lets out a pleased purr like hum.

“Couldn’t wait, huh?” Yunho is still talking rather quietly, his voice deeper when he does so, and it is such a soothing sound San doesn’t want to interrupt it so he just nods. When has San ever felt as complete as now? Probably never.

“This looks good on you,” the taller man continues, and San replies with a small grunt which makes Yunho chuckle again. “You can’t get any cuter, can you?” he moves his hands lower and laughs quietly as he is greeted with nothing but skin under the hoodie. “Also, very naughty, I see. Your just hoodie fashion has reached the next level. I love it.”

“I love you,” San blurts out in reply and looks up, meeting Yunho’s wide-eyed expression. “I really do and I would and should I apologize for feeling this way as I have no right to, but I don’t want to,” he feels his cheeks heating up, but he doesn’t care. “I don’t want to apologize because it feels right. This feels right - just like it should be.”

“Then don’t apologize,” Yunho smiles at him softly and presses their lips together for a short moment. “Let yourself love and allow me to love you,” Yunho looks at San with such a warm gaze. San is the one who steals another kiss in a simple response. He rests his head against Yunho’s chest again. He allows himself to be gently swayed from side to side, as Yunho moves them to a melody none of them hear. With him by San’s side this human thing could actually work out and even better than San ever expected. It feels like, together with Yunho, his existence, his life will be something he will be able to enjoy for as long as time will let them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The main story is over, HOWEVER, in the upcoming weeks, I MIGHT post small snippets of their lives after this chapter!


	6. BONUS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT: blow jobs, rimming, etc. BE WARNED!**

The rattling of the keys at the door can be heard even through the noise of the game, mostly because Yunho intentionally has left one headphone off. He quickly glances at the door while still trying to keep his eyes on the screen, testing the levels of his attention. “Hello!” he greets San cheerfully as the man comes in. The man smiles brightly and waves at him before pointing at something on the screen, making Yunho turn back to it. 

“How was it?” he asks and just quickly glances at the man who has now made his way to the other side of the sofa. San is way less glamorous than usual when he went out, but he still has quite a stunning presence about him. Even in simple jeans and a t-shirt and just a few accessories, he looked gorgeous. But when didn't he?  


“Good. It was actually very nice to sit down with Seonghwa and talk everything through. I did miss him,” San has a smile on his lips, and his cheeks are shyly pink. Getting him to meet Seonghwa was an incredibly hard task, but the result is obviously very pleasing. His hurt was and is valid, but slowly healing that and so many other open wounds which have been carved into his soul is important. And Yunho is going to all in his power to help.

“That’s great! Living separately does not mean you can’t hang out! Being in a relationship shouldn’t stop it either!” Yunho nods and, at the same time, barely dodges a shot aimed at him in the game. When it comes to San, it is very hard for him to divide his attention to other things.

“Yah! Jeong Yunho! Could you please focus on the game and not your boyfriend!” an annoyed voice yells loud enough for San to hear it too and giggle. Right. He isn’t playing alone.

“I’ll go change,” San quickly rests his hands on the back of the sofa and presses a kiss on Yunho’s cheek. Spare to say that Yunho blooms into the brightest possible smile but also gets shot in the game. The whole team whines in unison as the loading screen appears before them.

“How come such a nerd like Yunho gets a hot little goth boyfriend while someone as fine as me is still single?” Mingi whines very shamelessly while the game start screen is facing them. “I am full-on a catch.”

“Too bad you are the catch any fisherman would throw back in,” Jongho responds quickly, making the whole friend group burst out in laughter. “But if seriously, you refuse to live with anyone who is not in your direct friend group and don’t go out anywhere else but to lectures and work,” Jongho continues.

“You like living with me!” Mingi automatically objects, so loudly the echo can be heard from Jongho’s feed too, as the man is yelling in the room next to his in their shared apartment.

“Can we all shut up and play?” Yeosang finally speaks up, but that only erupts into another senseless argument Yunho can just laugh about. While the group call is going insane, San has returned from his room in his usual hoodie and, hopefully, underwear combo. At this point, Yunho can’t tell if it is truly San’s hoodie or his, and he doesn’t care.

He lifts his arms enough to send a clear message, and there is the cutest smile on San’s lips as he waddles over. San ducks under Yunho’s arms and sits in his lap, legs over his thighs, wrapping his arms around Yunho’s middle. His head rests on Yunho’s shoulder, his hair tickling Yunho’s skin as he snuggles closer. This is where he fits the best.

“Comfy?” Yunho asks, and San hums in response. It takes just a second of silent eye contact for their lips to meet in the softest kiss. It grows in passion slowly, and Yunho doesn’t even notice how the group call has gone completely silent.

“Are you seriously making out with mic on?!” Mingi yells, and instead of responding, Yunho places the console on the coffee table and takes his headset off, placing it down too. He ignores the intense ranting that can be heard and focuses only on San. The latter moves around until he can straddle Yunho’s lap and wrap his arms around the broader man’s shoulders. 

“We are throwing you out of the chat!” Jongho’s voice announces loudly before the earphones go silent. They are truly alone now, and there is no point in holding back a single bit.

As it often happens when they are alone, they get completely lost in each other. They share heated and deep kisses that still carry such gentleness and emotion with them, Yunho is sure it will never fade. Curious hands and small whines in the pale light of the TV screen create the most oddly intimate atmosphere. Now Yunho is quite sad San actually has left underwear under his hoodie, but it doesn’t stop his hands from sliding into it and feeling the heated skin under his touch.

“Yunho,” San breathes out against the taller man’s lips as they stop to catch a breath. “I ruined your game,” he smiles, and it is only natural to kiss the smile away before responding. San is addictive, which he has warned Yunho about, but he can’t care less. To Yunho’s mind, San deserves someone being addicted to him, someone to love and admire him at any given a chance. 

“That’s okay,” Yunho responds, rubbing their noses together. “Some things are more important than games,” he can’t help but smile at the man in his lap. “And more important than anything else too,” he adds, and there is a light push against his chest. San could easily fling him across the room with one hand, but he always controls his strength, which is admirable.

“Stop,” he murmurs. Instead of a solid reply, Yunho shakes his head and grabs the edge of San’s hoodie. Unlike one’s expectations, he does not pull it off but lifts it enough to get his head under it, the loose fabric allowing him to do so very easily.

“What are you doing?” San exclaims in a high pitched voice and giggles as Yunho disappears underneath the piece of clothing, his hands now on the small of San’s back. He doesn’t reply in words but instead begins placing countless kisses on San’s chest. The giggles turn into small gasps when the kisses become more daring - open-mouthed, involving small bites, tongue skimming over nipples. “Yunho…” San breathes out as the man continues his exploration, tracing the few inked parts of San’s skin available to him with his tongue.

It is quite a fluid movement of Yunho, still underneath San’s hoodie, laying the man down on the sofa. Only when San’s back hits the seat does Yunho emerge from the hoodie. His hair must be a completely tousled mess, his breathing rapid, but as he looks at heavily breathing San - eyes half shut but somehow still incredibly inviting - he knows he is doing something right. 

Yunho leaves the hoodie half way up San’s torso and turns his attention to the man’s underwear. The erection hidden by the thin deep blue fabric is undeniable, and this time, mimicking his lover, Yunho lets out a deep and shiver-worthy “Yum.” San’s eyes grow big, hands grabbing onto the rolled-up hoodie, but he doesn’t say a word and just silently observes Yunho.

The larger man can’t deny how adorably great the reaction is. His hands trail over the inked thighs as they spread a bit more, letting Yunho settle a bit better between them. He, however, doesn’t take the invitation instantly and instead takes hold of the edge of the boxers and pulls them off San. Even though he has seen the man before him naked so many times already, he can’t hold back a pleased hum. He is looking at perfection, after all.

With no second thought, he takes the space given to him between San’s legs. It is a bit uncomfortable for the first few seconds for his tall frame to find the best way to settle in, but once he does, he is not holding back. Yunho’s hands are all over San’s thighs along with his mouth, and there are countless small whimpers and whines coming from the man below him. The moment Yunho’s lips are about to drop the teasing behavior and finally give some attention to San’s trembling length, there is a sudden “Wait!” from the man.

“What’s wrong?” Yunho’s head is up instantly, his hands gently remaining on San’s hips. There is a deep blush on San’s cheeks, and from the lifted hoodie, it can be seen it has spread all over his skin. He’s chewing on his lower lip nervously, holding onto the edge of the hoodie with both of his hands, avoiding direct eye contact with Yunho. “San?” Yunho asks, his thumbs rubbing San’s skin gently.

“I have never… received a blow job,” he murmurs, and Yunho physically feels his eyes widening. He has to blink a few times to make sure he is awake. “Or anything of that sort actually,” he admits and lets go of the edge of the hoodie to pull it over his face by the neckline.

“Never… in all this time you’ve lived?” Yunho has to ask to make sure, and when San nods, his round eyes peering at him from the edge of the hoodie, Yunho is taken aback. “How can people be this dumb?” he whispers, and San’s lets the fabric fall more, now revealing his nose too. “They were presented with the best that can be imagined and just… didn’t do anything?” he is more talking to himself than San at this point, even though the latter is staring at him.

“I am about to make it right,” he looks at San with all his possible determination. “And I also have to apologize because I hadn’t taken a chance faster myself,” he continues and leans closer to kiss the man below him.

“It has only been two weeks. You’re talking like it’s been years,” San frowns, and his hands take hold of Yunho’s face. Yunho can’t deny how much he loves this feeling - how perfectly his face fits in San’s hands and how wonderfully San fits in his arms. This is absolutely the wrong moment to get all mushy, but he can’t help the joyful feeling in his chest.

“You’ve missed out on years,” Yunho objects and allows San to pull him down a bit for a kiss. It is not short, both of them getting lost in it quickly - San’s arms around Yunho’s shoulders, his body just gently grinding against the man above him - but something about is so deeply sweet it can almost be tasted.

“I like to think more about the years I will hopefully have with you,” San responds as they stop to catch a breath, their foreheads resting together, the tips of their noses touching. There is a shy tint of pink on San’s cheeks, and Yunho feels his own ears burning. Right. They have so much in front of them now - so much time they will be able to spend together. 

“Not hopefully. Definitely,” Yunho can’t keep another bright smile and once more savor the pleasant, complete feeling in his chest. He kisses San once more before finally ridding him of the bundled up hoodie. He pulls his own t-shirt off and kicks off his slacks in a very clumsy way landing them on the table, but he couldn’t care less.

Slowly, savoring each shiver and soft whimper from San, he moves down his torso leaving kisses and small bites along the way. The very way San’s skin trembles from soft touches excites Yunho as no one would probably imagine that a supernatural creature could be this sensitive, this eager. A bit of pride invades Yunho’s emotions as possible there is such a reaction because it is Yunho who gives San his undivided attention. That only excites him more.

As Yunho finally reaches San’s navel, his length resting a bit below it - fully hard and absolutely inviting - he can feel how the man breathes a bit heavier. “I am a bit rusty, but not that you will be able to tell the difference,” he smiles up from his position, and despite the heated moment, there is the cutest pout on San’s lips. It doesn’t last there for long - just until Yunho’s long fingers wrap around his cock. It is not difficult for Yunho’s large hand to fully envelop the heated flesh, the very crown peeking out from his grasp. Until now, Yunho has never had the chance to fully savor this scene, so he takes his sweet time, moving his hand in an almost lazy manner.

“Tease,” San breathes out, and Yunho looks up again. Half shut eyes, parted lips, chest rising in deep breathes - no one could match this visual, maybe only the gorgeous faces San makes when he reaches peak pleasure.

“Alright then,” Yunho smirks and doesn’t let the man at his control respond before he moves his head down and swipes his tongue over the tip. A very audible gasp adds more to his own excitement and repeats the same actions again; only now he doesn’t stop after just one lick and swirls his tongue around the sensitive head a few times. Yunho feels how San breathes more rapidly, his whole body moving along with his inhales and exhales, and it is a very clear sign to keep going.

Yunho indeed feels a bit rusty in his skills, but he has no time to hesitate, and instead of overthinking, he engulfs San’s length with his mouth. It indeed has been a while as it takes a couple of up and down movements for him to get used to the hot, heavy flesh on his tongue and allow it to reach the back of his mouth. He finds his rhythm nicely, and as he does so, he can finally return his focus on San’s reaction, which is absolutely amazing. 

San’s half-closed eyes are locked on Yunho between his legs, the tip of his tongue resting against the bottom of his parted lips. His left hand is grabbing onto the upholstery of the backrest of the sofa while the other one holds onto the edge of the seat. His eyes are piercing, and he looks determined not to miss a single second, as single action from Yunho. San is so focused yet so lost in the new sensation for him he probably hasn’t even noticed how his eyes have turned blinding red. And Yunho won’t be the one to tell him either.

Instead, he lets out a low hum and moves his head down to the point San’s cock hits the back of his mouth perfectly, and his nose hits San’s skin. There is a long pleased exhale, and Yunho hums again. His hand glides over the smaller man’s thigh before settling on his balls, cupping them with enough care but also enough presence to give the needed effect. At his point, something seems to be a bit off, but Yunho can’t pinpoint what.

It still smells like San, it does taste like him, but there is a hint, a smidge of something else there. Almost as if trying to get more of it out, he slurps on San’s dick more vigorously, letting his unoccupied hand help as he laps at the pre-cum quite shamelessly. His effort to understand what he is tasting and sensing only brings more pleasure to San. The latter doesn’t even notice how his hands change and how his skin flakes here and there, revealing the dark iridescent scales.

“Do you… taste like strawberries?” Yunho finally asks as he withdraws from his lover's cock for the first time, licking his lips and fully getting the sweet but a bit tangy taste of ripe strawberries that ooze juice all over your chin when you bite into them. He smells it too, and he is sure he is losing his mind until San nods slowly, his expression blissful - his fangs now showing slightly.

“Yes. When my kind wants to captivate our prey for an extended period of time to gain all we can from them, our bodies produce the taste and scent our partner would enjoy,” he has the same regal tone to his voice when more of his ‘demonic’ self showed. He spoke like a fantasy novel character, and with the red eyes, pointy fangs, and red and purple scales catching the light from the TV, he looked like one too.

“Wait…” His eyes suddenly grow big, and he sits up, looking at Yunho quite terrified. “If you can taste that then I…” he mumbles and looks at his hands. It is clear he is about to flee, about to stop this all just because some of his features have changed, but Yunho isn’t about to let him. Before San can even move, Yunho’s mouth is back on his length, the taste and scent of strawberries even more prominent, and it almost makes him light-headed. 

“Yun…No… I…” San tries to put together a sentence, probably something about how they need to stop due to his partial shift, but he is unable to say a word properly. 

“I like it,” Yunho blurts out in a deep voice, San’s cock almost resting against his cheek as he looks up at the flushed red-eyed man. “I really like it,” he emphasizes, and he isn’t lying. It’s thrilling beyond words, and when words can’t express it all, there needs to be action. That Yunho learned a few weeks ago. 

There is a silent conversation between them, their eyes locked for nearly a minute before Yunho moves. He places a kiss on the inside of San’s thighs, right where the scales fade into the skin and then a bit higher up on the iridescent marvels. The feeling on his lips is not odd or repulsive - not at all. It is as warm and inviting as it would be at any other moment because it’s San. Even with horns, scales, wings - even if he would grow a tail - he would still be the same San as always.

Very slowly, terrified of himself, San raises his hands to hold Yunho’s face as he does so often. He stops right before his longer, clawed, and scaled fingers reach the man still between his legs, but Yunho takes the initiative and places his head in the outreached hands. It still fits as perfectly as ever; this is still the touch he loves the most. He rubs his cheeks against San’s hands and places a soft kiss on his wrist before smirking devilishly, moving his head up a bit and taking San’s thumb in his mouth instead. There’s a gasp from the man as he looks straight at Yunho with large eyes, but he isn’t moving away.

The texture on Yunho’s tongue is a bit odd, but not unpleasant one bit. Besides, San’s wide-eyed reaction is a good encouragement to continue. While his mouth mimics what he just did on San’s cock, his fingers find their way to his hole. It is magical to see San’s ever expressive face changes when two of Yunho’s digits slip into his slick entrance. There is a shiver going through him, and it is currently the biggest reward Yunho could ask for.

He moves his mouth away from San’s fingers and withdraws his own digits from the gasping man. Out of pure curiosity, he brings his fingers to mouth, the same scent of ripest strawberries hits him, and he doesn’t think much before he places them in his mouth. There aren’t many options one can taste demon slick, and if they are going quite experimental today, why wouldn’t he. It tastes even sweeter, almost like artificially sweetened strawberries, but still has a hint of the natural tang.

“I was right. Absolutely yum,” he comments and can’t find a smile as San looks at him with his red eyes wide, breathing still labored. “Can I help myself to some more?” he asks cheekily, getting just a confused ‘huh’ from the man before him, not that he needs any other response. With the same smirk on his face, he dives between San’s legs again, giving a quick teasing kiss to the tip of his dick before going lower. 

With just one swift movement, he has San back on his back again, ass off the sofa enough to let Yunho take hold of it. The soft flesh is always a pleasant ‘toy,’ but it is not Yunho’s focus this time. He spreads the round cheeks enough to reveal the glistening hole to his eyes, and there is no hesitation as he moves forward and presses his tongue against it, swirling its perimeter. The moan San lets out is much louder than before, his clawed hands getting a hold of the upholstery, maybe damaging it a little, but no of them cares at this point.

Yunho proceeds to ‘eat his heart out,’ shamelessly enjoying every bit of the sweetness catered to exactly his liking. His tongue roams around and inside the pulsating muscle, his mouth sucking on it once in a while. What encourages him more is San getting lost in this and so obviously not thinking of the slight shift he is experiencing. His left hand has left the back of the sofa and settled on Yunho’s scalp instead, his claws gently scraping against it but not nearly enough to leave any sort of a mark. His other hand works on his hard length, and he softly moans and whimpers, Yunho’s name the most coherent thing he can say at this point. 

Yunho’s own cock is about to erupt, strained against his underwear, which he quite stupidly didn’t take off. He would love to touch himself, but he is preoccupied, and he knows that if he would, this wonderfully erotic and filthy sensual moment would end. “I can smell you,” San breathes out, his voice an octave lower than usual. “How I love the way you smell when you are so close to the edge,” he mumbles, and his fingers thread through Yunho’s hair, his hand moving along with Yunho’s head as he emerges from below. 

“I can absolutely say the same,” Yunho licks his lips and moves up enough to kiss San. The fangs are a new experience, and so are the tingling feeling of claws being dragged over his back, but that only turns him on even more if it is even possible. 

“If you’ve had your treat, perhaps you could feed me?” San’s hot breath hits Yunho’s lips, and he doesn’t have to ask twice. 

Never before has Yunho gotten out of his underwear as fast as now. He steals another deep, filthy sweet kiss from the man below, his lower lip gently pulled by the fangs, and proceeds to take the best position. They won’t last long even if they would want to, so the most they could get out of these last moments, the better. San’s legs are propped up on Yunho’s shoulders, the latter having one of his feet on the floor while he is kneeling on the sofa with his other. There is no countdown or questions, just fluid movement of Yunho pushing into the slick entrance, and both of them letting out sounds of unknown descent at the same time.

Courtesy is left somewhere in the past as Yunho pounds into the man beneath him. His eyes switch from the hypnotizing gleam of the red and purple scales shifting color in the TV light, to the remaining patches of skin glistening with sweat. And then there’s the lewd expressions on San’s face - a devilish smirk, his tongue hanging out of his mouth for a moment before licking his lips, the fangs pulling on his bottom lip as his red eyes never leave Yunho. The obscene sounds he is letting out are almost tuning out skin slapping against skin, and the sweet scent is filling the air.

San’s hand takes a hold on the armrest of the sofa behind him, his muscles tensing up as he pushes back against Yunho. There are even more angles and crevices where the light can play and create new effects on the scaled skin, and it is breathtakingly beautiful, but all Yunho can do is let out a growl. “A bit more,” San breathes out, his claws definitely damaging the armrest, his horns finally making an appearance and sprouting from the mess of hair on his head.

“Fucking hell,” are the last two words falling from Yunho’s lips as he comes. Everything before his eyes goes white for a second, and as he comes back to his senses, his hips still moving slowly and riding out his orgasm, his eyes scan San. It makes him growl low in his chest as he sees the man beneath him has come untouched - neither of their hands near his cock that has now covered his stomach and up to his chest with his release, settling on the slowly moving scales. He’s breathing heavily, the only attribute of his ‘demonic’ being missing are his wings, but he still looks breathtaking, and Yunho could possibly keep going. But they both silently know they are too tired for it this time.

Both of them whine as Yunho slips out and lowers San’s legs onto the sofa before moving forward to kiss his devilish lover. “And when I thought you couldn’t get any hotter,” he murmurs, and there is a light punch to his shoulder as a response before they melt together in a sweet, slow kiss - nothing like the maddening marathon seconds ago. At the end of the day, nothing matters more than just having each other close and knowing they have plenty of time ahead to enjoy this time and time again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOW it is officially over! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on: [Twitter](https://twitter.com/BeanSensei)  
  
  
Commissions [ HERE](https://twitter.com/BeanSensei/status/1219648851457593345)  
  
** OTHER ATEEZ FAN FICTION **  
**||** [ YunSan: Your Light ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/19869763) **||** [ YunSan: The Silver Mask ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21159272) **||** [ YunSan: The Morning Alarm ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21284231) **||** [ YunSan: A Gift ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21452566) **||** [ YunSan: Useless Skills](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21523681) **||** [ YunSan : Cliche ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21573070) **||** [ YunSan: The Little Things ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21648208) **||** [ YunSan: It All Starts Somewhere ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21684025) **||** [ YunSan: Perfect](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21719539) **||** [ YunSan: Sugar and Spice](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21758428) **||** [ YunSan: Magnetic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21932962) **||** [ JongWoo: Slow Down](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21794587) **||** [ 2Choi: City Lights](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21706930) **||** [ 2Choi: Call fo the Sea](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22101031) **||** [ SanHwa: Until it Overflows](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22212610%22) **||** [ SanHwa: Gallows-Birds](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22255243) **||** [ YunSan : Not a Cliche ](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22362748)


End file.
